


Cuddle Buddy

by i_think_im_ready_to_go, Loverontheleft



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Cuddles, Cuddling, Cuddling & Snuggling, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Platonic Cuddling, Summer Romance, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2019-10-29 11:09:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 40,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17806892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_think_im_ready_to_go/pseuds/i_think_im_ready_to_go, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loverontheleft/pseuds/Loverontheleft
Summary: You meet Brendon in summer school and become fast friends, agreeing to become platonic cuddle buddies. This results in a complex relationship, both of you knowing you realistically won’t be together after the summer ends. Just as you think that maybe there’s a flicker of hope for a real relationship, his ex tears his attention away. Can your friendship survive the summer?





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first real fic so let me know what you think!  
> Very soft. Very fluffy.

Your phone buzzes with a text message from Brendon. “Hey, you down for movie night? The others are watching another Fast and Furious movie and I seriously am OVER this marathon.”

“Sure. I’ve never been a huge boom boom boom movie person. I would like a little plot with my action. I’ll be right over.” You smile to yourself, thinking about your new friend. Both of you were living in the dorms with a few other people taking summer classes, and you’d hit it off immediately. Over the course of the past week, the two of you had been having movie nights separate from the others, not having been interested in the movies they wanted to watch. Somehow the last couple of nights, you had gone from sitting next to each other on his bed, backs against the wall, to you sitting between his legs with him propped up by a pillow nestled in the corner.

You knock on Brendon’s door, and he answers quickly, not wanting to keep you waiting. “So how about Les Mis?” he asks you, knowing about your obsession with musicals and with Hugh Jackman. Humming your agreement, you head over to his bed, pausing by his desk. “Is it...is it okay to take my bra off?” you ask, “it’s just that...it’s more comfortable without it.” He blinks a couple of times, surprised at the request, then shrugs. “Fine by me. Do what you want.”

Smiling, you slip off your bra and stick it on his desk, sighing as your breasts get their freedom. Brendon grabs his laptop, climbs up onto his bed, and settles against the corner, waving at you to get up on the bed with him. You hop up and crawl over to him, settling between his legs, and he places his laptop down on your lap. “Are you okay with my hands here?” he asks, hands hovering over you. You grab his hands and settle them on your stomach with your hands on top of his. Wiggling back into his embrace, you marvel at how comfortable this is when really, you only met this boy a couple of weeks ago, and this is not at all like you.

Brendon starts the movie, and you lose yourself in the story and the music. Partway through the movie, you notice his hands gently stroking and rubbing circles on your stomach, pausing every so often at the base of your breasts before heading back down and continuing to circle your tummy. Making a note to think about that later, you focus back on the movie. As it ends, you stretch your back, arching into him. “Wow, I’ve watched this so many times, but I develop a new appreciation for it every time I rewatch it.”

“Glad to watch it with you,” he remarks, “Understanding what you like is a great way to get to know you better.” You lean back into him, not wanting to leave quite yet. “Do you,” he coughs self-consciously, “do you want to lie down and listen to some music?”

“Most definitely,” you agree, “but I get to choose the music.” You get off him, and he rolls off the bed to put his laptop away. Internally, you’re cheering about not having to leave yet, also hoping that he’ll continue to hold you. Platonically of course. Brendon climbs back onto the bed, motioning for you to lie down on the side against the wall. Scrolling through your Spotify, you click on an album and set your phone down as music starts playing.

“Hey! I love Sinatra!” he exclaims. You’re internally cheering again that you have at least partially similar music tastes. You lay there silently, brain going a million miles a minute, wanting to reach over and touch him, but not knowing if that’s allowed. He held you during the movie and seemed comfortable with that, and he had been stroking your stomach. Maybe this would be okay too?

“Hey…” you venture, “Can we...cuddle? I just...It’s okay if you don’t want to or aren’t comfortable with it, but I was wondering…” you trail off. He looks over at you and rolls slightly to prop himself up on one elbow. Cocking his head, Brendon studies your face, looking for something, but what, you aren’t sure. Getting scared of his reaction, you start stuttering a defense, an apology, anything to erase what you just said so you can go back to listening to music. “It’s… I mean… I don’t... I was only asking… platonically… Never mind… It’s fine… Don’t worry about it…”

Suddenly, Brendon cracks a smile. A shit-eating grin actually. “You know you’re kind of cute when you’re nervous. Of course we can cuddle. Platonically. We can be platonic cuddle buddies this summer!” You sigh in relief, glad that he didn’t take your request to be as weird as it could have been. “How do you want to...do this?” He reaches towards you, trying to figure out exactly what you want. You think for a second before flipping on your side with your back to him. “Spoon?” That wasn’t all that different to what you were doing earlier, you thought. You were just lying down now.

Reaching around you, he scoots up to you, pressing his body against your back. As you relax back into his embrace, you give a contented sigh. This. This is what you wanted. Someone you could hang out, watch movies, and listen to music with. Someone that would platonically cuddle you without making it weird. Someone who just GOT you. Brendon’s hand slowly starts rubbing circles into your belly, and your eyes close at the soothing motion. You push back slightly, and Brendon splays his hand across your stomach, pulling your body against his. He buries his head in your neck, breathing you in. The two of you lie there in silence, listening to the croon of Sinatra coming from your phone.

Yawning, you stretch and reach for your phone to check the time, gasping as you realize how late it’s gotten. “Hey, um, so I should go...it’s 1am...I didn’t realize it’s so late, and we have to be up for class in 8 hours.” You pause, self-conscious and not really knowing what to say or do. It’s been a strange night, and you’re not sure what the protocol for platonic cuddle buddies is. Brendon releases you quickly, and you immediately feel the loss of his warmth. He rolls off the bed to let you out, and you hop down after him. You pause at his desk to grab your bra, and he turns away to give you some privacy because, let’s face it, getting that sucker off without lifting your shirt was easier than getting it back on.

Giving him the okay to turn around again, you reach over to give him a hug. “Can we make this official? Platonic cuddle buddies?”

His face lights up as he lets you go. “Of course! As if I would tell you no. One can never have enough cuddles.”

“This is true. Very true. One always needs more cuddles.” You give him one last hug and turn to leave. Pausing at the door, you turn and give him a shy smile as he closes the door behind you.

“God,” you think, “this summer might not be so bad after all.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soft. Fluffy. Enough said.

“Sooooo what do you want to watch tonight?” you type out, setting your phone on your desk so you can rummage through your backpack for a pencil. It buzzes, and you grab it quickly, eager to see Brendon’s answer, “10 things i hate about you?”

“Brilliant. I love rom coms. See you at 9?” you reply quickly. Your phone buzzes again, “See you then”

As 9:00 rolls around, you throw on a pair of basketball shorts and a tank top for maximum comfort. You scurry across the hall to his room, not wanting to be late for your...date? You aren’t really sure what to call it right now, but date was as good of a word as any. Reaching up, you knock on the door, and Brendon lets you into his room. The lights are already off, and the movie is pulled up on the laptop sitting on his bed, awaiting your arrival. He closes the door and crawls up onto his bed and leans back against the pillow propped up on the wall. You hop up and settle yourself between his legs as has become the standard. Placing the laptop on your lap, he starts the movie and moves his hands to rest on your stomach.

“Wait, I need to…” you pause the movie and hand back his laptop, climbing back off the bed. Sliding your bra out from under the tank top, you give a small shake and sigh at the feeling of FREEDOM. You climb back on the bed and re-situate yourself against him. 

As the movie plays, Brendon’s hands are rubbing gentle circles into your stomach and tracing along the bottom of your rib cage. By the time Kat tries to kiss Patrick (which doesn’t go over so well), he’s trailing his fingers up and down your arms. You shiver slightly as his hand brushes lightly against your bare shoulder. “You cold?” he inquires quietly.

“Nah, not cold. That just felt nice. It feels nice when you brush your fingers up my arm lightly.”

“Or just touch me softly in general,” you think. “God, his touch is addicting.” Brendon shifts so he can reach your shoulders easier. He runs the tips of his fingers up your arms, barely there, and makes some swirls on the sides of your shoulders before letting his fingers caress back down the length of your arms. You aren’t sure why it feels so good (it’s a bit ticklish maybe?), but it’s all you can do to force yourself to focus back on the movie.

The movie ends and you get up to put the laptop on the desk. “Cuddles?” you hear from behind you. Turning around, you see him already laying on the bed, arms reaching for you. You smile at him and hop back onto the bed. Pausing for a moment, you realize that you want to cuddle differently today. 

“Is it… Can we… cuddle… withmyheadonyourchest?” you blurt out, feeling slightly embarrassed. Thank goodness the lights were out and he couldn’t see you very well.

Brendon raises an eyebrow and cocks his head at you. “You want to cuddle. With what now?”

“Can I… can we with my head on your chest?” you mumble, looking down at the bed so you don’t have to look at him. He chuckles, “Sure thing. Whatever you want, I’m okay with.”

He lies back, and you slot yourself against his left side, resting your head on his, well on his shoulder actually, but that was just semantics. Once you’re situated and comfortable, he curls his arm around you, and you sigh happily. He grabs his phone with his right hand and turns on some slow jazz. Setting his phone down, he brings his hand up and starts running his fingers up and down your arm. In this position he can now reach the back of your exposed shoulder.

“Tank top was a great idea,” you think, flexing your shoulder slightly, offering him more skin to run his hands over. Brendon traces the line of your tank top along your shoulder a couple of times, and you snuggle into him, throwing your arm across his torso. Your tank top shifts slightly, uncovering more skin for his roaming hand.

As his fingers tickle your skin, you realize you’ve molded yourself to him, and there’s no way he’s not feeling your breasts pressed against him. He hasn’t said anything about it though, and he did say he was okay with anything you wanted. And this. This was definitely what you wanted. You feel safe here, cuddled up against your new friend. You aren’t letting yourself think about it too much because you know that if you start thinking, you’re going to freak out and overthink it.

Your eyes flutter shut when he changes up hand motions and starts to rub your back gently. Humming with approval, you smile at the feeling of Brendon’s broad hands stroking your body. Honestly, lying here with him is the most relaxed you’ve felt in ages. Dozing slightly, you wish you could stay like this forever.

Some while later, you drag your eyes open, realizing that it’s been a while, and it’s probably time to leave. “Hey Brendon? What time is it?” you ask him groggily, tilting your head up to look at him. He reaches for his phone to check.

“It’s 12:30,” he strokes your arm lightly, “You can stay as long as you want, but if you need to leave…” You can hear the reluctance in his voice, and you definitely don’t want to leave.

“Set an alarm for 1:00? I’ll leave at 1.” Squeezing you gently, Brendon does as you say. He puts his phone back down and lays his hand back down on your shoulder. Really, the tank top was a phenomenal idea. His hand is warm and soft against your shoulder, and you can’t remember the last time you felt this content.

The 1am alarm goes off, and you jolt awake, not remembering having fallen asleep. “Hey,” you hear from above you as you feel his hand rub soothing circles into your back. “Sorry that startled you.” You burrow into him and give him a tight hug before sighing and lifting your head to look at him. You’re definitely embarrassed that you fell asleep on him, and you hope he didn’t notice. His hand makes a final brush against you, and he lifts his arms to release you. Rolling away, you stretch, causing your back to crack loudly.

“Wow, you alright there?” he questions, “That sounded painful.”

Sitting up, you turn to look at him. “Ahhhhh no. It feels great. My body kind of just does that now. It’s normal.” Brendon gives you a skeptical look but doesn’t say anything more. He swings his legs off the bed to let you out and turns away as you put your bra back on. You touch his knee to let him know you’re done, and you step in to give him a hug. His arms fold around you, and you breath him in.

Grudgingly, you let him go, turning to leave. You stop as you feel his hand land on your shoulder. He wraps his arms around your waist and rests his chin on your shoulder. Turning your head towards him, you pause as he drops a kiss on your cheek. “See you tomorrow bright and early.” He releases you, and you bolt from the room, not wanting to acknowledge what just happened.

“Cuddle buddies,” you tell yourself, “We agreed that we’re platonic cuddle buddies for the summer… I’m not overthinking this. I’m not overthinking this. I’m not overthinking this. The kiss didn’t mean anything… Platonic. Cuddle buddies.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a writing buddy/collaborator! And she's the bomb. Seriously.

Startled, you jump as your phone vibrates loudly against your desk. “Can you help me understand some of this stuff from class? You’re way better at this than I am.” 

Glancing at the clock, you type out a quick reply, “sure, meet in the library in 20 mins? I’ll grab us a study room.”

Brendon immediately replies, “see you soon ;)”

|———|

“Hey, thanks for the help. I want to do well in this class, and chemistry has never been my strong suit. I’m glad we can work on our chemistry together.” Brendon shuts the door quietly behind him, and you giggle quietly at his inadvertently flirtatious line.

“I’m always open to working on our chemistry together,” you give back, unsure if he’s caught the double meaning. Sitting down, he rummages through his backpack for his notes from today’s lecture. He pulls an apple out and takes a big bite. 

“Did you see Lexi’s glasses today? I’m pretty sure they’re new. They look cute on her,” he gets out through a mouthful of food.

You think for a second, “Oh, she’s the one that sits in the second row on the left side, right?” 

“Yeah, I’ve known her for a while. We have...history.”

“History?” you question, intrigued.

“Yeah, we… It… I… History…” he sighs dramatically, “We sort of had a thing for a bit right before summer started. We hung out a lot, and she’s cute and funny, and I like her, and we kissed a couple of times, but… I don’t know what’s going on with us.” You’re surprised at this new bit of information, not having noticed them interact much this summer. “I mean, I really like her and stuff, but I’m just not sure… It feels like she’s been avoiding me since classes started.” Ah, so that answers that question. 

You aren’t really sure what to say in this situation. “Have you tried to talk to her about it? Or talk to her at all, I guess.”

“Yeah, we…” he coughs self-consciously, “We hung out and watched a couple movies the first week of class. But, uh, I’m not sure what happened. She still says hi in class and stuff, but she’s done the equivalent of ghosting me with, you know, still having to see me every day. We were never officially together, but I thought we had something? I just… I don’t know...”

Yeah, you have no idea what to tell him. “I... really don’t have good advice for you other than talking to her about it. It sounds to me as if you were in what my ex termed ‘a pseudo-relationship’. Which, as he said and I agree, basically never ends well. It’s always a mess at some point for both parties involved.”

He looks at you curiously, “a pseudo-relationship?”

“Yeah! It’s, like, you’ve never actually committed to each other, so if one of you starts seeing someone else, the other doesn’t really have grounds on to say anything. Plus, you can’t really break up since you were never together to start with. Trust me on the fact that it’s messy. I know from personal experience.”

“Oh,” he sits back, “that... I guess that makes sense. Er… What… ah, what, uh, happened? With you? If you don’t mind me asking?” Thinking for a second, you decide you might as well tell him. There’s no harm in it really, and maybe it would be good to tell someone the entire story who didn’t know both of you; someone with a different perspective.

“It’s kind of a long story,” you pause, studying his face closely, “and it, ah, shapes a huge amount of how I see relationships.”

“Well…” he considers, “color me intrigued. I’d like to hear your story if you’re willing to tell me.”

Taking a deep breath, you prepare yourself to tell the story. “So this all started sometime in the spring last year. So, like, a bit over a year ago. Jack, um, well, he’s a couple years older than me, but we met at school during rehearsals for the spring musical. I dance. He acts and sings. We didn’t really interact much until maybe mid-spring semester? It was spring break, and most people had left town including me, but he stayed. He… he blogs a fair amount, or at least he used to, and I had been reading it, and, um, he seemed really lonely and was having issues, so I messaged him. We started chatting online and, well, I guess that’s how we became friends. I mean, we weren’t really friends before? I dunno.”

You sigh, thinking back to the things that had started a complicated chain of events. “Well, either way, we became friends and suddenly started hanging out A LOT when I got back to school. And uh, we hit the point where people started asking my roommate if Jack and I were dating, and we weren’t yet! And well, I had feelings for him obviously, but, uh, I didn’t want to say anything. He was older than me and all that and, well, he was having issues still. I made a joke to him in a message at some point about how, uh… how everyone thought we were dating.”

Brendon is leaning forward and listening to you intently, not wanting to miss a word that you’re saying. You pause for a moment to make sure you have the story in order. then, continue. “He, ah, he messaged me back. This really long thing about how he actually did like me and stuff but he was having problems and didn’t want to start something with me when he was, you know, still having issues. I admitted to also having feelings for him, but, um, I said that I respected and understood his decision. And that’s… that’s when the pseudo-relationship started.”

Sighing at the memory, you know that it’s important for him to hear this story but it’s not an easy one to tell. “We stayed super close and kept hanging out. But it was hard, you know? Knowing that we both liked each other but couldn’t date?”

“We never really settled anything before summer started, and he had a wedding he needed a date for… It… It was really, really tough watching him take another girl with him even though he couldn’t have taken me even if we were together because I was off on family vacation. But, like, it hurt seeing him with someone else, knowing that I didn’t have any claims on him even though we had mutual feelings for each other…” Brendon is nodding as you talk, understanding your feelings and drawing the parallels to his own situation.

“I met a guy that summer, and, well, I kinda had a crush on him. But I also felt irrationally like I was cheating on Jack even though we weren’t together? It was complicated. We skyped eventually and it all came pouring out. He asked me out during that Skype call. Because he didn’t want to see me with someone else and was afraid I was going to date this guy that I had met.” You stop for a moment and rub your hands across your face, reliving everything that had occurred. 

“So of course I said yes, and we started dating long distance. Funny isn’t it? We pseudo-dated for months and didn’t start dating until we were apart.” You roll your eyes at yourself. “I… had a tough fall semester and it probably affected our relationship. I was taking a lot of classes and not doing super well, and I was super angsty about our relationship. Jack did his best, but, well, it wasn’t great. I just kind of went along with whatever he wanted to do and didn’t really have many opinions. He was really sweet through all of it and took really good care of me, but I didn’t, er, I didn’t have much of the emotional energy to give it back.”

“So then, um, this past spring wasn’t so bad academically, and I was doing better emotionally which is when we realized we didn’t actually have a ton in common. We, uh, actually didn’t have a whole lot of common interests outside of musical theater so there wasn’t actually much we could do TOGETHER that we both enjoyed.”

“We broke up because at some point we realized that while we could be decently happy together, but we would both be happier with someone that shared our respective interests. It...I...I didn’t do so well with it. I actually tried to get back together with him a few weeks later. I just missed him so much and I still kinda do, I think.” You think about it for a second and come to a realization.

“I miss it. We WERE together for 9 months, but I don’t know if I miss him so much anymore as I miss the relationship part. Being loved and cared for and stuff like that. We’re still friends, at least sort of. But definitely not as close as before we started dating.”

“So, um, did you guys ever have sex?” Brendon is curious but clearly won’t push you if you don’t want to answer. You feel the color drain from your face. How do you tell him that no, you and Jack never made it that far into your relationship? 

“Hey,” he whispers, placing his hand on top of yours, “it's okay if you didn't.”

“Yeah, we didn't,” it just came right out, on its own. You make it look like you're suddenly very interested in your fingers of the hand he's not touching.

“Have you ever? With anyone?” He gently inquires. You feel like crawling into a hole. You've never told a guy that you were still a virgin. Not even Jack. You chew on your bottom lip with anxiety, and your legs start to draw themselves toward your chest. You see the realization come across Brendon's face. “Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of.” 

You glance up into his eyes, where he can see the tears beginning to pool in your eyes. Brendon looks at you uncomfortably, while rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “Since you're being so honest with me, um so… If I’m being completely honest… I, uh, this summer, uh... When stuff got weird with Lexi, I, uh… I started looking for a fuck buddy, and um… that’s why I originally befriended you.” He’s got guilt written all over his face, and you gape at him, shocked that he would come right out and tell you that. “I just… I wanted something straight forward… like, with no strings attached. Because I’m not, er, as you have already noticed, over her really. Or, like, I’m not sure if there’s still hope with her?”

“I, um, don’t know what to say?” You try to pull your hand away from his.

“But, then, I got to know you!” He squeezes your hand, adding to his words. “And you’re way cool and, like, I know better than to risk losing a friend like you for a meaningless fuck. I could never do that to you, especially now that I really know you.”

You’re gnawing on your lip, trying to decide what to do with this knowledge. He was honest with what his intentions towards you had been, but you’re wondering if you had been better off not knowing.

“Um, if you don’t mind me asking… why… uh, why have didn’t you go all the way with him? You were together for a while! And most people probably would have if they had been together for that long.”

You stare at your hand in his, realizing that it has been there for a while, but you come to find that you don't mind. His touch is soothing and calming, as he gently moves his thumb back and forth across the top of your hand. When he squeezes it again, you remember what he asked you.

You blush as you cautiously raise your eyes to meet his. “It never really came up, now thinking back on it. We never really had that attraction or sexual tension or whatever. I...never had to tell him that. He never even tried anything.” You vaguely recall it taking months for him to even hold your hand in public. “But, even before that, I had just never been in a comfortable and safe place with anyone to want to give that to them, to expose myself to them so intimately and not feel safe doing so. Do you get what I mean?” 

Brendon nods, trying to show you that he wasn’t judging you for your this, but also stunned that Jack apparently hadn’t been physically attracted to you. “Y/N… I get the whole intimacy thing, and I applaud you for caring enough about yourself to not just do it to do it. But, I’ve got to say...in the kindest way possible…” he scratches at the back of his neck before exploding, “Jack, what the fuck? I… I don’t understand how he never tried anything! Or the holding your hand in public? Was he ashamed of you or something??? He… I… Just… you’re gorgeous Y/N! And sweet and kind and generous and funny, if I were to date you, I would want to show you off to everyone! I would want everyone to know about how beautiful, kind, and amazing you are and that you were MY girlfriend.”

You blush under his praise. “Stop it, Brendon. You're just saying that to make me feel better.”

He looks at you in shock. “Y/N, you stop, right now. You are all of those things.”

“I’m… I’m not, but thank you for saying so…” you start curling back into yourself, not sure how to deal with all these things that he’s saying. 

Taking your hand with both of his, Brendon looks you straight in the eye, “Y/N. You are kind and compassionate and funny and absolutely gorgeous inside and out, and I will take this summer to prove to you that to you and that you deserve someone who cherishes you and wants you physically as well as emotionally, mentally… and however else one can have you.”

Biting your lip, you can feel yourself tearing up. Who is this boy to say these things, while not even into you? How is life fair for the one boy who sees what you have always wanted a man to see in you and him not be into you? You shake your head to try and clear those thoughts out of your head and concentrate on what you're here for. You flip open a textbook. “Okay, have it your way. Now, what are you having problems with?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have realized there is no major appreciation of Brendon Urie’s back.

“Um so...I, uh, you’re going to laugh at me, I, um, was working out and, um, I think I pulled something in my back…” Brendon looks at you sheepishly, scuffing his heel against the ground as you walk back from class. “Could you, um, later, possibly… could you give me a back massage?”

Turning to look at him, your pace slows as you begin to comprehend what he just asked you. “You want…” you cough, surprised, “you want me to give you a back massage?”

“I, errrrr, yeah?” Brendon bites his lip, looking up at you self-consciously. 

“Oh, okay.” You use your hair as a curtain to block your blush from his sight. “Um, just let me run home, change and drop off my stuff. Meet you back at your room in 20 minutes?”

|——|

Dropping your backpack on the floor, you throw on a pair of basketball shorts and rummage through your drawer for a cute tank top. You put that on while checking that you look okay still then head out down the hall to Brendon’s room. 

You jump as he opens the door before you even have a chance to knock. “M’lady, I was expecting you.” He bows as he holds the door open for you to enter. Giggling, you smack his side at his antics as you pass him. He winces at the action. “Oh, sorry.”

You pause at his desk to slide your bra off, and he heads towards his bed. As Brendon settles face down onto his bed, you ask, “Umm, okay, where does it hurt?” He grimaces as he points at the side of his lower back. “There.” 

You scoff, “Don't do that if it hurts, silly.” You settle in, kneeling beside him.

As you begin massaging his back, you realize that you aren’t getting the pressure you need to really work the kinks out of his muscles. “Um, Brendon? Can I…” you trail off awkwardly, “erm… I can’t quite get the leverage I need to get, ahhh, the spot… I need to, ummm… straddle?”

“You aren’t getting leverage and need to straddle my back?” He smirks at you, “Go ahead. Straddle the fuck out of me.”

You blush at his insinuation but decide not to say anything, not needing to make this any weirder than it already is. Swinging a leg over him, you pause as you realize where you’re going to have to sit to do this. “I, uh…I’mgonnahavetositonyourass.”

You cringe as he cranes to look at you, wincing at the movements. “I’m sorry, you what?”

“Imma, uh, haveta, uhhh, sit…. on your ass?” You know you have to be bright red at this point, but this was getting more and more intimate with each passing moment, and slay you for noticing, but Brendon was the owner of a very nice ass. 

Laying his head back down, he mumbles into his pillow. “Whatever you want. You know you wanna.” He wiggles his ass beneath you, teasingly.

Taking a deep breath, you take a moment to calm yourself down then slowly lower yourself onto that...his...yeah okay you weren’t going to think about it. 

Exhaling slowly, you continue massaging his back, closing your eyes as you feel the muscles hiding under his shirt. “How,” you ask yourself, “is this what my life has become? How is it that I’m massaging the back of this gorgeous boy and we aren’t even together? We don’t… We don’t even LIKE each other like THAT.” Working your hands up his back, you let yourself enjoy the feel of his muscles under your hands.

Brendon groans as you hit the pulled muscle, and you bite your lip at the sound. “Platonic.” you remind to yourself, “Platonic back massage. This is a completely platonic back massage. Just because he’s hot means nothing. You still have issues, and he’s still pining after Lexi.”

He groans again, and all thoughts leave your head. “Oh my God, your hands are magical. That feels so good.”

Opening your eyes, you concentrate on the spot that got you into this situation. Brendon is moaning under your hands and you’re starting to wonder what his back looks like. You can feel the firm muscles under your fingers, and you’re sure that life is taunting you with what you can never have. 

Leaning down, you drop a light kiss on the small of his back, “A kiss to make it better,” you whisper.

Sliding your leg back over him, you move to lie down next to him, and he rolls onto his side. “I call little spoon!” he exclaims as you stare at his back before starting to snicker at his enthusiasm.

Scooting down the bed, you line yourself up with him and reach an arm out to wrap around his waist. He eagerly wiggles back into your embrace, and you reach a hand up to ruffle his hair. Immediately, his body goes limp, and you freeze. With a soft whimper, Brendon stretches out his neck, pushing his head into your hand. Tentatively, you run your fingers through his hair and gently scratch at his scalp, causing him to whine at the feeling. 

“Well, so that’s apparently a thing,” you think, starting to run your fingers through his hair more confidently, “That’s interesting.” You continue stroking your fingers through the soft strands, and he starts purring, clearly enjoying the attention. Before long, Brendon is softly snoring in your arms. Reluctantly, you extract yourself from his bed, pausing as he rolls onto his stomach, snuffling in his sleep.

“Bye Bren,” you whisper, dropping a kiss on his temple. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Are you ready for this epicness???” Brendon asks you, a little too loudly for so early in the morning. He’s bouncing up and down next to you, and it’s definitely way too early to have that much energy.

“At this moment, no. I'm not a morning person, and you signed me up for this little trip.” You grumble from your seat beside him in the back of the SUV that your friends had rented so you could all ride together to the amusement park. Since the closest one was almost an hour away, you had to leave super early to get there for “maximum fun” as Brendon had called it. Now, here you were crammed in the back seat at the crack of dawn. The only good thing was you got to hang out with Brendon. 

“That's fair,” he happily agreed. “Here,” he points to his shoulder, “sleep till we get there. I'll be quiet and wake you up when we're almost there. Sound like a deal?” You missed the last bit because the moment he said sleep, your head had hit his shoulder, and you were out. He smiles down at you, noticing how cute you were while you slept.

45 minutes later, he starts shaking you gently, “Hey, Sleepyhead, time to rise and shine.” 

“Nooooo, I'm too comfy.” You had pulled your knees up and were fully leaning into Brendon's side. You hear a few chuckles from the rest of the car. You jerk up, looking at everyone watching at you. With the blush taking over your face, you cover your face with your hands and glance at Brendon from behind your hands, “Why are they laughing at me?”

“Guys, be nice. She's not a morning person, and it's my fault that she's here, cut her some slack.” He calls to the rest of the car.

“She didn't have to come.” Oscar, the smart ass in the front seat calls back.

“Yeah, she did. I needed someone to get me away from you morons while we’re here.”

“Ha ha, Urie.” The jerk in the front seat calls back. Everyone else has gone back to whatever they were doing before their attention had been drawn to the back seat. He was defending you to his friends.

“There,” Brendon turns to you, “I made the meanies leave you alone.”

You grin at how silly he’s being. “My hero.” You giggle. “Oohh!!” He exclaimed as he pointed to one of the roller coasters that you could see bits of it from the parking lot. “We're definitely riding that one.” It was painted neon green and there were lots of loops and corkscrews. “What's it called?” 

He grins and wiggles his fingers at you, “The Mindbender. It's one of my favorites.” 

The car finally comes to a stop and you all pile out of the car. Brendon grabs your hand and starts pulling you towards the entrance, “Come on, let's go!!” You think it’s was strange, but you felt a small jolt when he grabbed your hand.  _ Stop it,  _ you tell yourself,  _ he doesn't see you in that way. You're just friends.  _

When you arrive at the main gate, he asks you to wait by the entrance and tells you that he'll be right back. “Well, hurry up. We need to buy our tickets to get in,” you call after his retreating figure. A girl walks by you, and she stops and turns back to you. 

“You're that girl that I've seen that Brendon's been hanging out with lately, aren't you?” She asks. You're taken aback,  _ Who is this chick?  _ “Yeah, Brendon's like my new best friend. Who are you?” Then, you notice the glasses.  _ Holy shit, this is Lexi. It has to be. _

“Hi, I'm Lexi. I must say though, you two are awfully cute together when I see you two out and about on campus.” She says. 

“Oh, we're just friends, that's all.” You say, kinda shocked by her words.

“Oh, honey, I don't know about that. He is so into you. The way he looks at you when you're not looking and how he talks about you to others. I wouldn't be surprised if he's just trying to get the nerve up to ask you out.” Lexi smirks and leans closer to you, whispering. “And you clearly should do it. He’s smokin’ hot, and y’all are adorable together.” Glancing over your shoulder, she sees Brendon heading back over. “Well, here comes your boy. Bye, girl.” She waves as she runs around to the gates. You just stand there looking like someone just told your 5-year-old self that Santa wasn't real and feeling like Lexi had just yanked the carpet out from under you. 

Brendon finally reaches your side, and you're still in shock at the bomb that she just dropped on you. “Surprise!!! I got your ticket for you… Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost.” 

You finally shake off your stupor and answer him as nothing happened. “Brendon, you knew I was gonna pay for my ticket.” You scold him.

He looks at you for a few seconds. “Are you sure you're okay? Was that Lexi you were talking to? Is she… Did she say something about me?” 

You come up with a little white lie, “I saw that drop ride and it scared me, that's all. Now, why did you buy my ticket? That had to be so expensive to buy two tickets. How much do I owe you?” You pull out your wallet to give him the cash when he puts his hand up. “Nope, you don't owe me a penny. I invited you to come so I'm paying for your ticket in. It's fine.”

“Brendon whatever your middle name is Urie… you didn't have to do that! I was prepared to pay my own way.”

“And now you don't have to, and you have more money to have fun with!” He cuts in on your mini-rant. Soon, the rest of his friends join you and you all head in together.

After making it through the turnstiles and into the park proper, you gaze at all the little shops and restaurants that make up what the park has dubbed “Main Street USA”. As the group makes their way to where the road forks, you see the park mascot and see that groups are getting their picture with it.

“Come on,” Brendon says, “you're getting the full experience today.” Once the mascot finishes with the previous group, a family with three little ones, Brendon pulls you over beside him as he poses with the rest of the group and the mascot. You lean towards him and make a silly face like the rest are doing. The photographer hands you a slip of paper with a number printed on it, informing you that you'll be able to buy copies of your pictures at the photoshop deeper in the park later that day. Brendon snatches the slip and puts it in his pocket, “We'll worry about that later. Let's go ride some rides!”

A few hours later, you come upon the park's water ride, and the temperature has reached a sweltering point. “Perfect timing!” Brendon says, wiping at his brow. It's now that you notice the sheen of sweat that was beginning to cover his face and how his hair was falling in his face. You're about to say something when he grabs you by the hand and pulls you after him while Oscar and the others trail behind you.

As your turn approaches, he pulls a gallon sized Ziploc bag out of his pocket. “Okay everybody, phones and things you don't want to get wet in the bag.” Grabbing your phone and watch, you place them on once everyone else has put theirs in. With a quick dexterity, Brendon drops his phone in and zips the bag and puts into his outside cargo pocket.

“So you seriously think we're gonna get wet on this thing?” You ask as you step to the front of the line.

He gives you a big grin, “Oh, I know so. Even if we don't get soaked, we'll still get some splashes over the edges. So, yeah. We're either getting a little wet at most or be super lucky and get soaked to our bones.” 

The huge round raft pulls up to the stairs and comes to a stop, and you can see that the seats and floor of it was completely wet. So, he was right, a little wet at a minimum. Brendon goes on first, and once he's on the raft, he stops and offers you his hand. You accept it as he replies, “Just so you don't slip.” And as if on cue, as soon as your first foot lands on the floor of the raft, it goes to slip out from under you. You feel your body starting to fall towards Brendon but his other hand reaches out to steady you. 

“Oh,” you gasp, thinking you’re going to hit the floor right there in front of all of his friends, but he just guides you into the seat behind you. 

“There. No harm done.” He replies as he plops down in the seat next to you. The raft is divided up into five sets of two seat sets in a circle formation. While your group only takes up three of them, they allow you to have the raft to yourselves. Once everyone is secured, they send you on your merry way. 

It starts out with you gently floating down the stream. “Oh, this isn't so bad.” You think out loud. You turn to look at Brendon, who is now snickering under his breath. “It's gonna get worse, isn't it?” He just grins at you as the raft turns a corner and you can see rapids up ahead. All of a sudden, the raft starts moving faster, bumping into things and spinning around. You lean forward to grab the safety bar to brace yourself.

A few minutes later, Oscar points behind you and Brendon, “Here comes the waterfall.” Your eyes get as big as quarters and as you try to turn to see it, the ride whips around so it's in front of you. It's beautiful but right before you reach it, the raft spins one last time so you and Brendon both end up going underneath it. You scream as the cold water engulfs your entire body. Two seconds later, you out of the waterfall and it goes back to the lazy river it was in the beginning. 

Giggling, Brendon grabs your hand to help you off the ride. You’re both completely soaked, and you can’t help but notice that his white shirt is now clinging to his chest.  _ Lexi was right. He’s smokin’. Can I have him? Can’t a girl catch a break?  _ You think you catch him taking a peek at you, but he’s not looking in your direction when you turn towards him.

Leaning over, he shakes hair out like a dog, and you shriek as water flies in your direction. “Brendon!” You smack him on the shoulder as he laughs at your reaction.

“Just bang your girl already, Urie! Save us from the sexual tension!” Oscar calls out, rolling his eyes at your flirting.

Gasping, you turn to look at Brendon, “I’m not his… we’re not… we aren’t…”

You watch his eyes narrow at Oscar, “Don’t you dare talk about Y/N that way ever again. She’s not my girl, but even so, if I catch you talking about her like that again, I will come and find you, and it will not be pretty.”

Flinching back, you look away from Brendon.  _ Lexi thinks he’s into me. Oscar called me his girl. But Brendon says I’m not. I guess I was right, and he’s just super sweet and kind of flirty.  I’m not surprised really… we’re just platonic cuddle buddies and nothing more. _

Oscar rolls his eyes, “Whatever dude. Don’t take everything so seriously.”

Brendon turns to you, still fuming, and grabs your hands with his before looking you straight in the eye, “Don’t listen to him. I told you before that you’re worth more than a meaningless fuck, and I’m serious about that. I know I friended you originally because I wanted a fuck buddy, and you’re really cute, but you’re so, so, so, so, so much more than that to me now.”  _ Way to mess with a gal’s head, Brendon. Seriously. _

Exhaling slowly, you close your eyes, giving yourself a moment. “It’s okay, Brendon. I… just… Why does everyone think we’re together?”

You feel Brendon freeze at the question, and you open your eyes cautiously as he starts speaking. “I… I mean… We… We’ve been hanging out a lot. Maybe… Maybe we should discuss this somewhere more private?”

“Okay, um… I think… I might’ve seen a cafe a little further back? We can change into some dry clothes, and I’ll meet you back there?

Ducking into the girls changing room, you think about what you want to say. Do you want to seriously be with him?  _ But you won’t see him again after this summer. You don’t go to the same school, live in the same state even. You’re just setting yourself up for failure if you start something.  _ But he would be worth it, right? Worth the effort of trying? He could always become just a summer fling. That wouldn’t be so bad. _ But wouldn’t it? You would be setting yourself up for inevitable heartbreak.  _ But this boy was… he was so sweet and kind and…  _ really insanely hot… _ and adorable and… he was basically perfect.  _ But if you fall for him any harder than you already have, the breakup will be so much worse.  _ But… you didn’t have to break up, did you?  _ But he doesn’t live anywhere NEAR you. You’ll never see him after this summer was up. Plus, he’s still hung up on Lexi... _

Shaking your head to try and clear your thoughts, you bag up your wet clothes, determinedly.  _ Just be honest with him and tell him you like him but you’re scared of starting anything, especially if he isn’t over Lexi yet. _

You walk out of the changing room and head towards the cafe, seeing that Brendon’s already grabbed a table for the two of you. “Hey, sorry if you waited. I got caught up in my own head.”

“Nah, you’re all good. I didn’t have to wait long. Can I get you anything? A cold drink? Ice cream?” He hops up to grab something for each of you.

You start protesting, “You don’t have to! You bought my ticket! Please, let me get the ice cream.”

“I made you come today. Let me pay for you,” he argues, narrowing his eyes at you.

“The most I’m letting you do is pay for yourself,” you hold out your hand, “so what do you want?”

“P eanut butter swirl in a chocolate dipped waffle cone with sprinkles ?” 

“You want a… okay then,” you roll your eyes at him fondly, “P eanut butter swirl in a chocolate dipped waffle cone with sprinkles it is.”

|-----|

Sitting back down, you hand Brendon his cone. “Okay so…” you trail off, not knowing where to start, “um, I guess we need to talk?”

“I… uh, yeah… I guess that’s why we’re here isn’t it?” He rubs his neck self-consciously, “I mean, I guess it was only a matter of time until this came up. I’m sorry that the others were giving you a hard time. I, uh, do you want to go first?”

You bite your lip, looking at him closely, “Not really? I mean, I’m confused. We’ve been hanging out a lot and stuff and, well… I know what it LOOKS like, but we, er… it doesn’t matter what other people think right?”

“Oh…” he sighs, “I just… it’s not that simple. I mean it CAN be if you want it to be.”

You give him a confused look, “What do you mean? I thought it WAS that simple. I know what I feel, but I thought you still hadn’t gotten closure on the whole Lexi thing. Plus I’m leaving after summer school finishes, and we don’t live anywhere near each other.”

Looking down at his rapidly melting ice cream, Brendon’s shoulders slump, “I mean… I… I really like you. I’m mostly over Lexi, but you’re right, I don’t want to start anything since you’ll be leaving at the end of summer. There’s no reason for you to come back here after this.”

“Well, unless you’re really over Lexi, I don’t want to be a rebound. I, uh, I really like you, but, um, you just agreed with me that starting something would be a bad idea.” You sigh moodily, “We can still hang out and enjoy each other this summer. You’re my best friend here, and I really enjoy hanging out with you.”  _ And touching, but he doesn’t need to know that. _

Brendon looks up a bit happier, “I know! I do too! We can keep hanging out, I promise. Nothing needs to change. I’m glad we’re on the same page about this.”

You put on a fake smile, “Yeah, me too.”  _ Why does this not feel right? I should be happier than this. _

“Come on, let's go.” Brendon rises from his chair, offering his non-ice cream covered hand. “We still have so much to do.” You take his hand, still choosing to ignore the small jolt you feel every time you touch, allowing him to pull you out of the cafe and back towards another ride.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glasses Brendon!

“Soooooooo I was messing around with the guys earlier, and my back is kind of scraped up,” Brendon confesses sheepishly to you over the phone. 

“And how in the hell did that happen?” You giggle under your breath.

“We decided to play capture the flag in the wooded area beside campus and I tripped and fell into a wild rose bush. Stupid morons just laughed at me. Still think I may have a thorn or two stuck in my back.”

You gasp internally. The thought of Brendon being hurt was abhorrent. “Are you alright? Is it just your back? Do you need me to help you get it out?”

You actually hear him pouting on his end of the line. “Yes, please?”

“I’ll be right over.”

Just as you stop in front of his door, the door flies open. Taking him in, you suppress a squeak at how adorable he looks with his messy hair, pout, and… “You wear glasses?”

Brendon pushes his glasses up his nose self-consciously, “Oh, I mean, er, yeah. Yeah, I wear glasses. They help when I'm driving or gaming or when my eyes get tired.” The simple black retro frames accent his face perfectly.

You giggle at his rambling. “I like them. They're so….you.”

Walking into his room, he glances at his reflection in the mirror on the wall. Cocking his head to the side, he asked, “Really? You think so?”

_ You look so hot right now that it's messing with my head.  _ You internally respond. “Yeah, they look great,” is what comes out of your mouth. Needing to change the subject, you actually notice the tiny spots of blood on the back of his shirt. You gasp, “Oh, Brendon, you're bleeding. Let's take care of you.”

He grabs the first aid kit and leads you to his bed. He winces as he tries to take off his shirt. “Here, let me help with that.” He gingerly lifts his hands and bends so you can peel the shirt off. When he rights him completely, you finally get to see his body without any barriers. You try not to make it look like you’re checking him out, but have mercy, the boy is built. Shaking your head, you point at the bed before he can say anything. “Face down, let me check out the damage.”

He's obedient and does what you tell him to. As soon as he lays his head on his folded arms, you glance at his back. You remember how that back felt from the massage you gave him the last time he hurt himself. You shake your head to clear away the naughty thoughts and assess the injuries. There are several gashes, but two of them look like the thorns broke off into the wounds. “Wow, you did a number on your back. There's a couple of thorns I'm going to have to pull out.”

He winces at the comment. “It's okay, just hurry. It's really starting to hurt.” 

Before you start, you go and grab him two ibuprofen and a glass of water. “Here, go ahead and take these. They'll help in a bit.”

He tosses the pills back and takes several gulps of the water then hands the glass back and lays back down. After gathering everything you'll need to complete the task at hand, you grab the tweezers to safely remove the offending thorns in his side. “Okay, here we go.” You see him stiffen as he anticipates the pain, and you remove them as gently as you can.

“Have you started yet?” He whines after two minutes have passed. You grin in triumph as you lay the tweezers and the two thorns on his bedside table.

“Start? I've already gotten them out. See?” You draw his attention to the table. He turns and sees the tiny offenders. 

“That's it? Those two little things are what we hurting me so?”

“Well, now I have to clean the mess they and their friends left behind. This bit won't be as fun.”

You grab the antiseptic and begin cleaning each wound. On the bigger cuts, he winces at the burning sensation that the antiseptic causes. You place your free hand on the middle of his back where he managed not to get a single scratch and gently move your thumb back and forth in a soothing motion to calm him. A few minutes later, every single scratch had been cleaned and had antibiotic ointment with pain relief and bandages applied to. “Okay, Patient Urie, you're all done.”

Rolling onto his side, Brendon gives you his puppy eyes, “Cuddles for the injured patient?”

Sighing, you roll your eyes at him before acquiescing, “Alright. But I think you’re going to have to be the big spoon this time since your back is hurt, and I don’t want to mess it up any worse.”

With an eager grin, he wiggles into position on the bed and hold his arms out towards you enthusiastically, “Cuddles!”

Crawling into his arms, you settle yourself in front of him and scoot backwards to press yourself against him. Brendon wraps his arms around you in a tight hug before trailing his hand down to rest on your stomach. With a suppressed sigh, you notice that his body heat is seeping through your shirt more than usual, probably due to his lack of one. He’s HOT in more ways than one, and you’re probably acting more socially incompetent than usual. “Hey Brendon?” you venture quietly, “Can you rub my stomach? It feels good and…” you trail off unsure of what to say.

“Of course y/n. Anything for you,” gently, he begins to trace small circles around your stomach, kissing the back of your neck when you sigh happily.  _ Toooootally platonic. Fuck, I wish I had a real boyfriend to do this to me. _ With a nibble at the nape of your neck, Brendon pulls back, and you mourn the loss of his…  _ NOPE. Not going to think about how soft his lips are. Not at all……  _ You sigh again, more at your own thoughts than anything he’s doing. Humming you wiggle back into his small frame, closing your eyes to concentrate on the feel of him pressed up against your back. He’s warm and safe, and you’re comfortable, wrapped up in his embrace.  _ I could stay here forever and be happy with that.  _ Staying your thoughts, Brendon’s hand starts to slow its soothing movements on your stomach, and you slowly doze off.

|——|

Eyes flying open, you realize that you had fallen asleep and that Brendon’s hand has stopped moving altogether. “Hey Brendon?” You breathe out as quietly as possible, and at the lack of response, you slowly attempt to turn around without waking him. Gently lifting his arm, you carefully extract yourself from his embrace.

As you look down at him, you take time to drink in how manages to look both adorable and unfairly hot at the same time. He’s asleep with his glasses askew but still on, pouty lips slightly parted, and… You reach out to touch his shoulder, stopping yourself, hand hovering above him. Biting your lip, you sigh.  _ That is what was pressed up against me. That’s what I fell asleep with wrapped around me. And it’s not even mine to keep.  _ Pulling your hand back, you carefully reach over and remove Brendon’s glasses from his face, folding them and setting them on his desk. You drape a blanket over his sleeping form.

Succumbing to temptation, you place your hand on his bare shoulder as you bend over to kiss his temple, “Bye, Bren. Hope you feel better in the morning.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the softest thing ever. Sorry, not sorry.

Jolting awake to the sound of the DuckTales theme song, you grope around to locate your phone. Checking your messages, you see one from Brendon from early this morning, “I didn’t get to say bye to you before you left :( Sorry for falling asleep on you again, and thanks for taking care of me”

You rub your hand across your face, trying to wake up, before replying, “It’s all good. I’m glad I could help.” Rolling out of bed, you start to get ready for class.

Your phone buzzes against your desk, “Hey, do you want to watch another movie tonight? It’s been a while, and the others are watching another James Bond movie that I don’t feel like seeing.”

Grinning happily to yourself, you think about what movie you want to watch, “Of course. Always. Moulin Rouge?”

“You got it. And can you check my back again?” You can almost see the big eyes he’s probably making and sigh at the image.

Rolling your eyes, you type out your response, “As if you had to ask.”

|-----|

As Brendon swings open his door, you look up and furrow your brow at his nervous expression. “Spit it out, Brendon. What is it this time?”

He rubs the back of his neck and bites his lip, “Since you’ve been helping me take care of my back and stuff… I was thinking… I could, um… repay you with a back rub?”

“Oh. That’s all? Of course, I’ll accept a back rub. You don’t have to, but I’ll never turn one down.” You relax your expression and smile softly at him, “We can do that now before watching the movie.” Sliding past him, you pause at his desk and wait for him to close the door then reach up and unclasp your bra. As you’re sliding it out from under your tank, you notice Brendon watching you out of the corner of his eye, trying to look unobvious about it. Glancing down, you check which bra you happened to grab this morning, relieved that it was apparently one of your cute ones.

“Alright let’s see your ever so wounded back.” Brendon turns around and pulls his shirt off. Craning around, he tries to get a look at his back as you examine it, and his muscles ripple in front of you. “Stop moving!” You smack his shoulder, and he freezes before turning back around with a pout. Examining his back closer, you run your hand along his back and between the scrapes  _ because why the hell not _ . “Looks good. Should be a couple more days and you’ll be right as rain.”

“Yay!” He spins around, hugs you, then pushes you in the direction of the bed. 

You climb onto the bed and lay down on your front, feeling the bed dip next to you as he climbs up after you. Brendon rubs your back gently, “Can I… um… Is it okay if I straddle you? It’ll, you know, be easier like that.”

Humming your agreement, you wiggle away from the wall slightly to give him some space. He swings his leg over you and settles his weight gently on top of you. You exhale slowly as he starts massaging your shoulders, pushing his thumbs along the edge of your shoulder blades. When he hits a knot on your shoulder at the base of your neck, you grimace and let out a whimper. Brendon lightens up the pressure and methodically works out the knot, “Hey, shhhh, I’m sorry. I’ll be gentle.”

He shifts his weight on you slightly, and you groan as his hands continue firmly down your back. With smooth motions, he massages the middle of your back, pressing lightly from the center of your back to the sides, “God that feels amazing,” you groan, “How have I been missing out on this all summer?”

Chuckling, he works his hands further down, eliciting another moan from you.  _ His hands feel amazing. I could have been experiencing this all summer.  _ He scoots down a bit to sit on your thighs. As he keeps working down your back, you start to wonder when he’s going to stop. There’s not much lower he can go before…  _ As if. Although his hands massaging my butt would be… yeah okay nope nope nope.  _ Brendon slows his movements, and his hands brush against the elastic of your shorts.  _ Is he going to…?  _ He scoots back up, settling himself back on your butt and leans forward to kiss the back of your neck, “Hope that felt good.” He shifts his weight around until…  _ Is he lying on top of me???  _ You’re biting your lip and trying not to move too much, not wanting to scare him off.

A couple of seconds pass, and he rolls off of you, landing with his feet on the floor, not saying anything, and acting like nothing strange has happened. He reaches over to his desk and grabs his laptop. “Alrighty then. Movie time?” Climbing back onto the bed, he plops himself down and leans back against the wall. He motions for you to sit in your usual spot between his legs, and you drag yourself over, still slightly boneless from the massage. Snuggling into him, you wiggle around to get comfortable and realize that he’s still shirtless.  _ There are worse things. _

Brendon places the laptop down on your lap and starts the movie then wraps his arms around you, laying his hands on your stomach. You relax back into his embrace as his hands start tracing circles on your stomach.  _ Mmmmmmm he remembers that I liked that.  _

As the movie progresses, Brendon starts nuzzling your hair, and you smile softly, burrowing back into him, wanting to be as close as possible. 

As Christian tries to convince Satine that it's okay to be in love with each other, you feel him turn his head and kiss your hair tenderly, pulling you firmly into his torso with his hands, which are still on your stomach. Before you know it, he’s leaning forward slightly, and his lips are  _ whoa, he’s kissing my ear and...HE’S NIBBLING ON MY EAR.  _ You suppress a whine and a shudder at the feeling. Your ears are particularly sensitive, but there’s no way Brendon knows that, and you’re afraid if he figures it out, he’ll stop. 

As his lips nibble gently down the shell of your ear, you close your eyes and bite your lip hard.  _ Goddamn it Brendon. Those lips. God.  _ You feel his lips move down and kiss softly behind your ear, and you stretch your neck out, inhaling as quietly as possible. 

Tilting your head to the side, you offer your neck up to him. His lips are soft and velvety as they trail butterfly kisses down to your shoulder. Shuddering slightly, you suppress a whimper as he nibbles on a spot at the base of your neck. You’re breathing relatively hard with your eyes squeezed shut, trying to not make too much noise or movement so you don’t scare him off. Brendon tenderly begins a path back up your neck and stops, breathing into your ear, “You like that? Feels good?”

Gasping, eyes flying open, you feel like you’ve been caught. With a soft chuckle, Brendon places a kiss in your hair, then leans back against the wall. 

You take a deep breath to calm yourself but then you realize that you miss the contact, the connection with him. You feel your body fall back into him of its own volition, needing that connection on a physical level.

When the movie ends, you sit there in silence for a minute before feeling him shift behind you. You get off him and hop off the bed to put the laptop down. Stretching, you crack your back then turn around to get back in bed. 

Scooting onto his back, Brendon holds out an arm for you to curl up under. You lay down next to him and carefully place your head on his bare chest. He firmly runs his hand through your hair and down your back, effectively shoving you into his naked torso. Sighing happily, you close your eyes and snuggle into him, bringing your hand up to rest on his stomach. As he strokes his hand through your hair, you start to rub circles on his stomach. 

Opening your eyes, you start tracing along the planes of his chest admiringly. As your hand starts tracing his abs, you notice his v-line frames a faint trail of hair starting at his navel and going down to disappear into the elastic of his shorts.  _ I wonder what that feels like. What will he do if I trace it? Is that too intimate?  _ Ripping your eyes away, you focus back on the contours of his abs. His hand is stroking your shoulder gently, and you close your eyes again, relaxing into his touch. You lay your hand flat on his stomach and run it up to his chest to feel him breathing slowly.  _ This is really nice. He’s warm and comfy and oh so sweet. All is right in the world when I’m cuddling with him.  _

After a while, Brendon’s hand starts rubbing your back soothingly, and you sigh, opening your eyes. Again, they’re drawn to the strip of hair below his navel, and you bite your lip as you consider whether you’re allowed to touch it or not.  _ I mean, if I just happen to brush it while tracing his v-line… it won’t seem sexual or anything, right? I just… I want to know what it feels like. It looks… soft... _

Trying not to be too sudden about it, you start caressing your way back down from his chest to his navel. Your hand stops on his stomach and rubs in soft circles as you continue to contemplate if and how you’re going to do this.  _ I’m just going to keep circling my hand lower and lower and trace along his v-line. Then I’ll just happen to brush it one time. _ Determined now, you start rubbing lower on Brendon’s stomach, tracing along his abs, down towards his v-line. With a slow inhale, you start mapping his v-line with your fingers, enjoying the feel of his soft, warm skin.  _ God, he’s beautiful. To have a body like this… _ Your hand inches closer to the strip of hair before you take the plunge and brush your fingers over it gently. Brendon gives a sharp inhale, and you freeze, turning bright red at having been caught doing something so intimate.  _ Ohmygod, shit. This is bad. This is very bad. What do I tell him now?  _ “Sorry,” you pull your hand back quickly.

“Nonononono,” he reassures you, “it’s okay. I was just surprised. Go ahead. It feels good.” Exhaling a breath of relief, you bring your hand back to his navel and cautiously explore. You run your fingers along the strip of hair, smiling at how soft it is. Brendon’s fingers stroke through your hair and caress your scalp, causing you to nuzzle into him like a cat.

All of a sudden, you both startle as your phone starts ringing on his desk. He wraps his arm around you, holding you to his body, “Don’t answer it. Stay here with me.”

Nodding you throw your arm around his torso, hugging him tightly as you listen to your phone ring and eventually go silent. Lifting your head slightly, you take stock of your position.  _ I could… hmmm…  _ you twist your body and slowly lower your head down to kiss Brendon’s collarbone. Hearing a small gasp above you, you look up as his hand comes to caress your neck gently. His eyes are closed and his lips are slightly parted from the gasp. You lower your lips back down and start to brush them along his collarbone towards his neck.

Right as you’re about to nibble at the base of his throat, your phone starts ringing again. With a groan, you push up and start crawling over Brendon, “If someone’s calling me twice in a row, it’s probably important.” Climbing off the bed, you grab your phone and check the caller ID, “it’s my roommate.”

You answer reluctantly, “Hey what’s up?”

“I’m… I think I have food poisoning. I didn’t want to interrupt you but…”

“I’m just down the hall in Brendon’s room. I’ll be right back.” You hang up the phone and look back towards Brendon who is now sitting on his bed with his legs swinging off the edge, “I’m sorry, but my roommate has food poisoning, and I need to go take care of her.”

With a sad pout, he holds his arms out towards you, “Goodbye hug?”

Smiling, you cross the room, fold your arms around him, and bury your face into his neck, whispering, “I’ll see you tomorrow in class.” You drop a kiss at the base of his neck and turn to grab your bra and head out the door.

“See you tomorrow y/n. Looking forward to it.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It starts to get a bit steamy...

**Brendon’s POV**

“I’m headed out to see family,” Y/n explains, “so I won’t be around this weekend.”

You make the saddest face you know how, with big eyes and a huge pout, “But Y/n, what will I do without you!?”

“No! Making that face at me will not work,” she exclaims, “I can’t just not go because you’re being a puppy. You’ll be fine for one weekend without me. Plus, these people are more your friends than mine. Spend some time and hang out with them.”

Holding out your arms, she closes the distance between you. She wraps her arms around your waist and lays her head on your chest, and it feels so natural. “I'm gonna miss you like crazy,” you mumble into her hair.

“I’ll miss you too, Brendon. Even if it IS only for the weekend.” She smiles up at you, still wrapped up in your arms.  _ I could… I could just kiss her. Should I kiss her? Does she WANT me to kiss her? Would she be okay with it? I think she would. I- I mean… We’ve been acting… well… more than platonic recently. I… I’m going to go for it.  _ She pulls back and turns to leave.  _ Damn it. Missed my chance.  _

“Y/n, I…” you pause, unsure of what to tell her, “I’ll text you a bunch this weekend and not do anything too fun without you.”

She turns back around, giggling, and reaches up to ruffle your hair, “Do what you want Brendon. I won’t be upset if you have fun without me.” You whine at her hand in your hair.  _ God, that feels good. Does she remember…?  _ “Bye, then! See you on Monday!” She hurries off to grab her stuff and leave. 

|——-|

Hearing a knock on your door, you get up to see who it is. “Hey, Brendon. Want to come hang out with us in Sam’s room? We have some alcohol. We’re just gonna chill and whatever. Nothing big.”

“I, uh, sure. Why not?” You figure it’ll keep you distracted from Y/n being gone. Plus, you know, alcohol. Grabbing your phone from off the bed, you head over to Sam’s room, making a note to text Y/n later.

Entering Sam’s room, you find a group of people seated in a circle on the floor. “Brendon!!! Come sit here!” One of Y/n’s friends, Jess, waves at you and scoots over to give you a place to sit. You grab a beer off the desk on your way over, and she hands you a bottle opener, leaning in to whisper, “How are you doing with Y/n being gone? Miss her yet?” You turn to look at her curiously, and she smirks, “Everyone knows you’re together all the time and might as well be TOGETHER together.”

Coughing, your eyes widen in embarrassment. “I- we… aren’t… we’ve talked about it! We both agreed that it wouldn’t be a good idea since she’ll only be here this summer,” you frown slightly at your own words and mumble, “but I do wonder sometimes…”

Jess scoffs and rolls her eyes, “Maybe you should re-talk about it. CLEARLY, you have feelings for her. And CLEARLY, she returns them. And they aren’t just feelings. There’s more to it than that…”

With a small sigh, you bite your lip, considering, “I’ll think about it, but no promises.” She gives a satisfied nod and turns to talk to the person sitting on the other side of her.

“Alright, folks! Thanks for coming over to hang out,” your head whips up to look at Sam, “As you can see, beer and drinks are on the desk. Enjoy yourselves. We can start playing drinking games in a bit.” You start drinking faster, knowing that you’re going to want to be several drinks deep by the time the games start. 

|——-|

Shuffling around a bit, everyone moves so that the circle of people is large enough for everybody. Someone had suggested to start with truth or dare, and that really didn’t seem like a starting game to you, but it’s apparently what was about to occur. 

About ten minutes later, it's your turn. “Hey, yo, Bren, truth or dare?” Lexi asks. Without even a second of thought, you call out that you'll take a dare. She smirks, “I dare you to make out with me.” Several reactions echo through the room that becomes chants of “Kiss her!” Supported by the alcohol and the small amount of your lingering feelings for her, you stand and stride across the room.

As you pull her to her feet, she gasps in surprise. “Oh, Bren, I like this new side to you.” Placing both of your hands on her face, you pull her in, and you feel yourself begin to melt into the kiss. As Lexi licks across your bottom lip, you groan at the feeling.  _ God, it’s been so long. Man, I’ve missed this.  _ Opening your mouth to her, your tongue finds hers, and your hands move to tangle in her hair. She sucks your bottom lip into her mouth, as she knows you like, and you’re moaning and whimpering uncontrollably.

You’re starting to wonder if, maybe, this isn’t such a bad idea, taking Lexi back with you for the night until Y/n’s smiling face pops into the back of your mind. You pull away quickly as a feeling of nausea hits you. “Oh, wow,” Lexi breathes. She giggles and clings to your side.

Wrapping an arm around her, you try to calm your racing heart.

|——-|

You and Lexi become inseparable for the rest of the night. You like that she's finally giving you the time of day, and although you and Y/n aren't together, this odd feeling of betrayal pokes at you persistently. You’ve kissed Lexi several more times throughout the night, and she has settled down on your lap as you both continue drinking and the game of truth or dare has started back up.

Lexi peeks up at you, giving you a light peck on the lips, “I'll be right back, handsome.” She pulls away and hops up to use the restroom.

“Brendon, it's your turn,” Oscar booms as soon as Lexi is out of the room. Not wanting to be dared to kiss someone else, you ask for a truth this time. “Alright then, how is Y/n in bed?” 

Gaping at him, you’re rendered speechless. “I… she… we… uhhhh…” You cringe at your complete incoherence. “I don’t want to talk about this! Why do I get both a truth and a dare that involve more than just me?” You reach for your drink and take several large gulps. 

“Aww come on Brendon,” Oscar chuckles, “Spill the beans! Y/n is gorgeous, and y’all have been spending the entire summer together and clearly have chemistry. I bet the sex is amazing!”

Lexi re-enters the room and plops herself back down on your lap as you look around at the people waiting expectantly for your response. “We haven’t… um… slept together. Or done anything at all actually. It’s not like that. Really.” Lexi perks up immediately as you sputter out an explanation, “We aren’t together, and we’re definitely not doing the friends with benefits thing… But it’s not that I don’t want to! Like, do it… with her… I mean… I’m a dude after all, and a dude’s got needs, and it’s hard being around her sometimes because she IS gorgeous, and she has no idea. Not a single clue. But it’s not like that with us. I’m attracted to her, sure, I’ll admit that, but there isn’t anything happening between us.”

Giggling, Lexi places a hand over your mouth, “I think that’s enough, Bren. Don’t dig yourself into a deeper hole. You’ve answered all you need to.”

You blush and wrap your arms around her, bending down to whisper in her ear, “Thanks, Lexi. I was just surprised at the question.”

Turning in your embrace, she looks up at you with soft eyes and drags your lips down to hers. As you kiss her softly, you marvel at how good it feels to have her in your lap, focused on you again. Her warm body feels nice pressed against yours as your hands start to roam their way down her back, massaging gently.

Rotating the rest of the way around, Lexi swings a leg over so she’s straddling you. Wiggling closer, she wraps her legs around your waist, and you pull her flush against you with a low hum.

Bending down, you trail row of kisses along her jaw. She tilts her head to the side, asking for neck kisses, and you oblige with a haphazard path along her neck and throat, down to her collarbone.

With a sharp inhale, she shudders at the feeling, “Oh God. Bren. I had forgotten how amazing your scruff feels.” Smiling, you bury your face in her neck and rub it gently along her neck and shoulder. She whines quietly and tightens her legs around your waist.

Nibbling on her shoulder, you realize that having her wiggling around on your lap is definitely starting to turn you on.  _ Ohhhhh. That feels amazing. It’s been so long since I’ve been with anyone. I had forgotten what this is like. I miss…  _ Lexi starts slowly grinding down on your lap, and it’s all you can do to keep from bucking up into her. 

Pulling your head down, Lexi mumbles quietly in your ear, “God, I can feel you. I want you, and I can tell you want me. Let’s go, Bren. Let’s get out of here.” Your head snaps up as you realize you’re still in Sam’s room, and everyone’s been given quite a show. Rising quickly, the two of you bid your farewells to the others and scramble out the door. 


	9. Chapter 9

“Brendon!” you race towards him excitedly, “I missed you!”

Picking you up and spinning you around, Brendon chuckles, “Y/n! I missed you too!”

“Hah,” you joke, “you clearly you missed me so much since you didn’t text me.”

“I…” he pauses guiltily, “Sorry about that. We were drinking in Sam’s room and stuff got a little crazy…”

You laugh at his reasoning, “It’s okay. I told you to have fun with your friends while I was gone, and I’m glad you did. I don’t mind that you didn’t text me. I was just surprised is all.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, Brendon offers, “Let’s get dinner, and you can tell me about your weekend?”

|——-|

After just walking for fifteen minutes, Brendon spots the arcade up ahead. “Hey, look. Let's go have some fun!” He grabs your hand and pulls you after him.

Giggling, you comment, “I thought we were getting something to eat.”

“We can do that here, too!” He grins. “Come on!”

After getting burgers, fries, and milkshakes, you both settle into a booth that separates the arcade from the laser tag area. You grab a few fries and take a bite, watching as Brendon dips his first fry into his chocolate milkshake, then takes a huge bite of it. Giving him a confused look, you ask him what he's doing. “Isn't it obvious? I'm dipping my fries into my milkshake.” You tell him that you don't do that.

Brendon gasps, “What do you mean you don’t dip your fries in your milkshake? They’re the best like that!” He grabs a fry, dips it into his milkshake, and holds it out in front of him, gesturing for you to eat it. Snatching up the fry with your mouth, you lick up the little bit of milkshake running down his hand. He chomps down on his lip at the feeling of your tongue teasing along his finger, and you grin at him cheekily.

“Mmmmm, that was pretty good,” You exaggerate licking your lips before grabbing your napkin to wipe them. 

After finishing his fries, Brendon takes his shake and starts drinking it directly. He places the cup down, and you giggle, “Brendon! What are you doing? You have a straw? And now you have chocolate on your nose!” Reaching out, you swipe at his nose and lick the transferred milkshake off your finger. Smacking your lips, you grin at him, “That tastes especially good now that it has a little of you in it.”

Staring at you, his jaw drops open. With another giggle, you reach over and close it for him. “You're gonna catch flies that way.” He continues to stare at you, and you wave your hand in front of his face. “Earth to Brendon?”

He shakes his head as if clearing his thoughts and gives you a sly smile. “Who are you, and what have you done with shy Y/n? But, I must say, this new you is growing on me.” You grin in response.  _ I really enjoy spending time with Brendon. I feel safe with him, and God knows he’s attractive... And I think he might be attracted to me too. Flirting with him is just so EASY. People think we’re together… maybe we should just talk about it and actually do it.  _ You bite your lip in thought and decide you’re going to go for it. “Hey, Brendon…”

“Look, Y/n! They have air hockey! Let’s play air hockey!” Grabbing your hand, Brendon drags you in the direction of the air hockey table, and you laugh, immediately forgetting your train of thought. 

“Are you sure you want to challenge me?” you tease, spinning your paddle on the table while Brendon puts the change in to activate the game.

“Oh, so that's how it's gonna be, huh?” he chides, grabbing his paddle and the disc, then moves to his end of the table. He slides the disc across the table to you. “Ladies, first.”

You catch it just before it glides into your goal. “Nice try, B.” You place the disc on the table and let it glide from side to side as you and Brendon watch it. You let it go a few times and when you're sure he's not paying any attention to your movements, you slam the disc, and it shoots right into his goal with a satisfying clatter. He stands there, slack-jawed in disbelief. “How…”

“Let's just say you're going up against the undefeated champ of the Y/L/N’s.” You get into a defensive position. “We'd go to the arcade every weekend and I've never been beaten.”

Twenty minutes later, the scoreboard reads Brendon 2 - Y\n 8, declaring you the winner. “Don’t say I didn't warn ya.” You pat his shoulder as he's doubled over the table in defeat. You can tell that your win has hit his ego. “Brendon, are you okay?” 

“I can't believe you totally slaughtered me. That was badass.” He stands back up and grins at you.

With a shrug, you push his shoulder and motion with your head towards the door, “It’s getting late. We should probably head back. Plus, I don’t think you can handle another defeat of that magnitude.”

|——-|

Laughing and shoving at each other playfully, you make your way back to the dorms from dinner. As you reach Brendon’s door, he grabs your wrist, “I know it’s late, and there isn’t time for a movie, but back massages and cuddles? It won’t take long, I promise. I just… I missed this. I missed you.”

You melt at his words, having severely missed him this weekend as well. “Alright then. I missed you too.” Unlocking his door, he drags you into his room eagerly and quickly shuts the door behind you.

He pulls you into his arms, and you give him a tight hug, sighing at the feeling of his warm body pressed against yours. Kissing your hair tenderly, Brendon runs his hands up and down your back before stopping to trace along the edge of your bra clasp. “Um. You usually take this off. Do you want me to…?” You hum in acquiescence, and he gently undoes the clasp, letting you slide your bra out from under your shirt.

Walking towards the bed, Brendon pulls his shirt off before sprawling out, requesting the first back massage. “Hey, Brendon?” you venture cautiously, “Can I borrow a pair of shorts? Cuddling will be more comfortable if we’re not in jeans.”

“Oh. Yeah.” He rolls off the bed and opens a drawer, “You can borrow these. Just, uh, turn around to change, and I’ll do the same.” Turning around, you change into his shorts which are definitely big on you. As you face each other again, Brendon’s lips pull into a half smile, “You look cute in my shorts.”

Rolling your eyes, you shove him gently in the direction of the bed. He sprawls out again, and you climb on top of him, sitting on his (very grabbable) ass. Using your hands, you start working out the muscles at the top of his shoulders and along the base of his neck. As you work your way down, you take a moment to massage his upper arms.  _ He’s so little, yet… he’s lean, but… These muscles should not exist on someone this small.  _ Closing your eyes, you enjoy the feeling of his muscles yielding under the pressure of your fingers. 

You let go of his arms and concentrate on his back again. As you push your thumbs into the skin along the edge of his shoulder blade, he shifts his shoulders in a request for you to massage the tendons between his back and shoulder blades. You suppress the sound threatening to erupt from you at the sight of his muscles rippling across his back. Working along the tendons, you massage firmly, and Brendon groans from beneath you, “Oh God. That feels good. What would I ever do without you?”

Chuckling quietly, you continue down his back, focusing on getting his whole back evenly. With the palms of your hands, you press down on the middle of the back, stretching and rolling the skin and muscles. As you reach the spot on his back that had been scraped up, you pause and run your fingers lightly over the new skin. Brendon shivers under you and hums as you do it again. Bending over, you kiss the spot gently, and he whines at the feeling of your lips on his lower back. Feeling bold, you slowly kiss a line up his spine before whispering in his ear, “My turn now.”

You climb off his back, and he groans as he rolls over to make space for you. Lying down next to him, you poke him to get him moving, and he bonelessly moves to flop over you. “Don’t wanna move. You’re too good. Wanna cuddle now.”

“Brendon! You said back massages. That’s plural, as in more than one. We can cuddle after you return the favor.” You hit his shoulder to accentuate your point, and he rolls over, falling off the bed. Laughing, you take in his petulant pout.

“The things I do for you,” he grumbles, “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Giggling, you wiggle into position to receive your massage. “You know you loooooove me,” you tease, “What would you ever do without me to pick thorns out of your back and massage your pulled muscles?”

He messes up your hair teasingly and climbs back on the bed, swinging a leg over you to sit on your ass. With gentle pressure, Brendon’s hands start on your upper back, circling slowly. You sigh and relax under his careful ministrations. Using his thumbs, he mimics what you did, working the muscles and tendons around your shoulder blades. As he reaches the middle of your back, the pressure causes it to crack loudly. Pausing, he checks to see if you’re okay.

“Doing great,” you smile lazily, “that felt amazing.” With a chuckle, he resumes his work. Massaging his way down to your lower back, you groan and stiffen. “Can you concentrate on that? I think I’m tight from traveling.” 

Brendon shifts around to get into a better position and settles down to focus on your lower back. Slowly but surely, he gets you to relax again, and you’re pretty sure your eyes would be glazed over if they were actually open. Finishing up, he runs his fingers lightly along the strip of skin peeking out between the bottom of your shirt and the top of his shorts. He bends down kisses softly along the exposed skin.  _ God. His lips. They’re so soft. This boy is so perfect, he should be illegal. I could give myself to him so easily. It IS supposed to be easy right? With the right person? It should be this easy... _

With a last kiss, Brendon crawls back up, laying his body down completely on top of yours. Sighing, you wriggle under him to get comfortable before relaxing, his weight pressing you into the bed. After a couple of minutes, you wiggle again, “Hey Brendon? Can you let me up now? I’m enjoying having your body as a warm blanket, but you’re getting kind of heavy.” With a grunt, he scoots off you towards the wall so he doesn’t fall off the bed again. Rolling carefully on your back, you motion for him to flip onto his side so he can cuddle against you. You lift your arm, and he snuggles into you with his head on your shoulder. You both sigh in contentment.

_ Why does this feel so easy and natural? Like we were made for each other.  _ Brendon drapes his arm over your torso. His touch is equally calming and arousing, and it just feels like home; it’s where you're meant to be. You've almost begun to crave it, being with him, being touched by him. Reaching up, you caress his cheek. Brendon opens his eyes, and yours locks with his.  _ I wanna kiss him now. It just feels like the right time. I think he would be a good first kiss.  _ You've made up your mind. You're gonna lean in a little and see if he meets you halfway.

Before you have a chance to move, he’s moved so that he’s propped up on his elbow, looking down at you. “You’re really pretty. You know that right?”

Blushing, you shrug, not really sure what to say, “I… um, okay then.”

“Really, you are!” he exclaims, bringing a hand up to brush a strand of hair off your face.  _ I’m not sure where he gets that from, but I don’t feel like arguing right now.  _ Leaning down, Brendon kisses your forehead softly. He strokes his thumb across your cheekbone and chases it with another kiss. Shifting slightly, he’s kissing your temple, down the side of your face to your jaw. Continuing lower, he starts nibbling a slow back down your neck, dragging a whimper from you.  _ Between last time and now, I think I could get behind more neck kisses. He’s really good at this…  _ You feel the hot air of his breath as he exhales slowly and buries his face into the base of your throat. With a whine, you wrap your arms around him and run your hands up and down the smooth skin of his back. He hums quietly as you make light scratching motions along his back, outward from his spine.

Lifting his head, Brendon he positions himself so he’s hovering slightly above you. He brushes his lips along your collarbone, just lightly grazing, and you shiver at the feeling. As he makes his way back up your neck, he starts nibbling again, lips warm and velvety against your neck. Reaching your jaw, he runs the tip of his nose along your jawline until he’s at the center of your face. He scoots up the bed slightly so his face is level with yours again. Then, Brendon stops moving, lips hovering barely two inches above yours. Your eyes find his before dropping to look at his big, soft lips. They’re slightly parted, and you can feel his warm breath on your lips, teasing, yet cautious. Glancing up again, your breath hitches in anticipation.

Suddenly, your cell phone dings, pauses, dings again, pauses, and dings a third time. With a groan of disappointment, Brendon shifts, almost falling off the bed again, knowing it must be important for whoever is texting you to send three messages. You grab your phone from the desk and see a text from Jess, “Hey girl. I went to your room to look for you, but you aren’t in.”

“Are you in Brendon’s room?”

“I have something that you NEED to see.”

Utterly confused, you respond, “I’m in Brendon’s room. Can it wait until tomorrow?”

Jess replies immediately, “NO. It can’t wait. It’s important, and… well… it’s about Brendon. You need to know this.”

Completely baffled, you turn to Brendon and bite your lip, “Hey Brendon? Jess has something she thinks I desperately need to see. So, um, I’m gonna have to go and appease her. Sorry, our time got cut short.”

As you leave Brendon’s room, you turn back to your phone, to tell Jess that you’re on your way back to your room, and you'll see her in five.  _ What could be going on?  _ Your mind goes through every possibility as you walk back down the hall to your room. 

|——-|

Hopping up quickly at the knock on the door, you drag the door open to let Jess in, “Hey, good to see you! What was so important that it couldn’t wait?” She motions for you to close the door first, and you shut it impatiently. 

“Y/n…” she grabs your hands quickly, “It’s just… I… I don’t really know how to tell you this but… ummmm…” she pauses awkwardly, looking down and scuffing her heels, “I just… maybe it’s just better to show you first.”

“You say it’s about Brendon?” You jump up onto your bed and gesture for her to sit next to you. “He didn’t mention anything specific about what happened this weekend. He just said that a bunch of you were drinking in Sam’s room.”

“Yeah well… He wouldn’t have told you about this. And I’m sorry I have to tell this to you, I really am. I know you like him and- Y/n!” Jess glares at you as mumble that it’s not like that; you don’t like him like that. “Y/n… It’s okay if you like him. You two have a ton of chemistry and relate well, and he’s handsome. I can tell from the way you look at him and act around him and talk about him. You’re allowed to admit that you’re attracted to him.”

Looking down at your hands in your lap, you whisper, “I guess I do. Like him, I mean. He’s just so… He treats me so well, and I have so much fun with him and enjoy being around him. I… I’m scared of how easy everything is with him.”

Jess sighs sadly and bites her lip, “I think it’s time I just show you this and tell you what happened.” Pulling her phone out, she scrolls to a video and hands it to you. “Just… this happened during a game of truth or dare so this wasn’t really his fault.”

You gasp when you play the video, feeling a jolt of jealousy run through you as you watch Brendon and Lexi make out… passionately. “This was… this was for a dare? Who… whose dare was it?”

Nodding slowly, Jess studies your face, “Brendon’s. Lexi dared him to make out with her.” You relax a little at the new knowledge.  _ It’s not that big of a deal. Lexi forced him into it, that snake. She TOLD me that Brendon was interested in me and that we would be adorable together. Then she turns around and forces him to make out with her when I’m not around to witness it. _

“Well. I mean… Sure… He looked into it, but he was fulfilling the dare, right?” You feel a knot beginning to form in the base of your stomach at the apologetic look she gives you. 

Sighing quietly, Jess runs a hand through her hair, “I… there’s more. Stuff happened after that. Long story short, she spent the rest of the night in his lap, and they kept making out, and it got kinda heated.” She pauses at your stunned expression. “I’m so sorry Y/n, but… ugh… They left together. They left and were clearly going to… well, you know…”

“He… They… No… He wouldn’t…” With a betrayed look, you cover your face with your hands and take in a heaving breath. “I… Thanks for telling me.”

She places her hands on your shoulders in comfort, “Hey, are you going to be okay? Do you want me to stay for a bit? Or would you rather be alone?”

“I…” you draw your knees up to your chest, trying to hold back the impending tears, “I’d like to be alone right now.”

|——-|

You know you have to go to class, but it also means seeing Brendon. You keep telling yourself that you just have to make it through class, then you can return to your room. You had been doing great for the last few days. Every time Brendon saw you out on campus, you'd either walk the other way, even if it was not the way that you needed to go or just flat out ignored him. You haven't answered his calls or texts, and you feel that you’re doing well. If you can just make it through this class… 

As you slowly make your way from your dorm to your classroom, your mind starts going through the same thoughts that have been boggling your mind since your talk with Jess.

_ Why? Why did he do that? He knows that I told him that I'm inexperienced. He has to know that we both have feelings for each other. I can't believe that I thought that he might be the one that I could see myself with; us together, in a real relationship. Maybe even the one I'd go all the way with for the first time. And he… he makes out with and sleeps with that snake of a bitch.  _

You don't have a copy of the video but it’s ingrained into your brain, and you keep reliving it over and over. Just thinking about it puts you close to tears.  _ Pull yourself together, Y/n. You can't let him see you cry. You can't let him see that his stupid decisions have almost destroyed you.  _ You wipe away the single tear that has fallen before you got to the classroom. Straightening your shoulders and schooling your face to one of impassiveness, you open the door, and there he is, in his usual spot. You find an open desk on the opposite side of the room and settle in for the next hour and a half, trying not to let your face betray your feelings. Inside, you feel utterly confused and completely destroyed. You allowed this boy into your life. He broke down your walls with his sweet words, his kind smile and his hot body. Then, had the audacity to get hot and heavy with his ex while you were out of town. You feel the tears coming on again, but you use all the inner strength you have left to keep them at bay. You steel yourself as you keep your eyes on the professor at the front of the room, desperately trying to pay attention to what they're saying and hoping that you don't catch Brendon trying to look at you.

|——-|

Time slowly ticks by, and the second the bell rings, you're out the door and racing back to your dorm. The last thing you want is to talk, hell, or see him right now. He’s hurt you in so many ways, and these wounds are fresh and painful. If he tries anything, it will be like rubbing salt into those wounds.

Just as you think you’ve made it out and blended in with the crowd so that he can’t find you, your luck runs out.

“Y/n! Wait up!” Brendon calls from behind you, causing you to pause and brace yourself before turning around.

“Brendon.” You respond coldly, wanting to get this over with as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Jogging up to you, he gives you a classic pout, “Hey… what’s up? It’s, uh… I haven’t seen or talked to you recently. Well, I mean, I have, but not like today… or yesterday… like… not as much as we have been. Did I do something to make you mad at me? Was…” he runs a hand through his hair nervously, “Was it something about what we were doing on Sunday night? Did I go too far? I, uh, I didn’t mean to push you if you didn’t want to, you know, um… yeah.”

You raise an eyebrow at him and give him a scathing look. “Brendon. Do you honestly not know why I’m mad at you right now?”

“I… uh, no?” He shuffles around nervously, waiting for you to enlighten him on exactly what he did to make you actively try to avoid him.

Glaring, you take a deep breath before exploding at him, “HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT PLAYING AROUND WITH SOMEONE IS NOT OKAY? You USED me, Brendon. Completely and utterly used me. I THOUGHT you were better than that. Better than using someone as a-a-a… a rebound.” Looking up, you see Brendon’s crushed expression which angers you further. 

Gaping, Brendon tries to defend himself, “I… Y/n! I swear you aren’t a rebound! What do you mean I’ve been using you? IS IT about Sunday night? I wasn’t trying to push you, I swear. I thought you were enjoying what we’ve been building up and… and… and… I thought you were okay with it!”

Cutting him off, you continue in on him, “And what Brendon? I should have known better. Seriously. YOU even told me you weren’t over Lexi, but I still let myself get hopeful. Well, you know what? I respect myself too much to keep doing this. You clearly still want Lexi, so go get her. Just don’t expect me to stick around for it.

With a gasp, Brendon gapes at you, trying to figure out what’s happening in your head. “Y/n… Why do you think I want Lexi?”

Scoffing, you narrow your eyes at him, “I’m not stupid, Brendon. And even though the people here are primarily your friends, I do have a couple of friends that are willing to tell me when the guy I like is going after a different girl. One of the said friends was kind enough to get a video of you making out with Lexi on Saturday night. When you said stuff got crazy, that is not at all what I thought happened.”

“I… that was a dare! Lexi dared me to make out with her, and you know me, I never back down from a dare! I swear, Y/n-”

You interrupt him again, not wanting to hear his pathetic explanation, “Okay, so you made out with her on a dare. Fine. But you slept with her. Was that a dare too, huh?”

“I… It… We-”

“NO BRENDON. LET ME FINISH. I KNOW you slept with her on Saturday night. She was in your lap all night, and everyone saw you leave with her. Well, since you’re finally getting what you want, you obviously don’t need me anymore. Our arrangement is OFF.”

Mouth opening and closing, Brendon stares at you, completely speechless at his inability to quell your outburst.

“Somehow in all of this, I thought that maybe… maybe we had something special. But no. You’ve been stringing me along and playing games KNOWING that I have no experience with anyone physically. I’ve never done much more than hold hands and cuddle on the couch with a boy. I TOLD you that.” With a small shudder, you’re holding back tears, trying to keep it together for a little longer, until you can get back to the dorms.

Reaching out, Brendon tries to grab your shoulders to calm you down. “No! You don’t get to touch me! After what you did? I… FUCK YOU BRENDON. Sunday? I was going to let you kiss me. I’ve never kissed anyone before, but I trusted you. I would have let you. Some of the stuff we DID do… The neck kisses… those were… THOSE WERE INTIMATE. I let you do that and some of the other things BECAUSE I TRUSTED YOU, and it felt good, and I didn’t want to stop… But WE AREN’T TOGETHER. We specifically discussed that we couldn’t be together!”

“I… it… Y/N!” Brendon finally manages to interrupt, “Let me explain! Nothing happened with me and Lexi! Well, nothing more than what anyone saw. I was horny because, well, we’ve been sort of messing around, and you’re gorgeous Y/n! And I just… I WANT you, but like, I respect you too much to do anything really. Lexi was there and willing, and I… I was drunk and turned on! And well, sure, we left together, but we didn’t sleep together! I… I couldn’t go through with it! We reached my room, and I couldn’t do it. We stopped outside my door, and I made her leave!” He’s gesturing hysterically, trying to fix this mess.

Scoffing, you roll your eyes, “I don’t believe you. And even if I did, you ADMITTED to me before that you aren’t over Lexi. You say that what we’ve been doing makes you horny. So instead of talking to me about it like any reasonable adult, you’ve been running off and seeing Lexi. I can’t BELIEVE I told my family about you. I told them you treated me well and were the sweetest boy I had ever met. And LOOK AT THIS. Turns out, you’re a liar as well as a player. Well, you know what? You can't have your cake and eat it too.”

Turning around, you storm off, crying, leaving a completely speechless Brendon behind you.


	10. Chapter 10

**Brendon’s POV**

Ever since Y/n ended our arrangement, I've been at my wit's end. I can't get her to see me. She won't answer my calls or texts. I... I just don't know what to do. I’ve been racking my brain… wait… maybe I can get some help from Jess. If I can get through to Jess, maybe, just maybe, she'll help me win her back. I hadn't realized it until that moment that I love her. That I would do anything for her. Grabbing my cell, I call Jess, hoping she'll answer.

_ Ring… Ring… _

“Hello?”

I sigh in relief. “Jess? Hey, it's Brendon.” I hear her go to hang up on me. “Jess, wait, please!”

“What? What is so important that I should listen to you? You broke my best friend's heart and…”

“I love her.”

Silence comes over the phone. I check to make sure that the line hasn't disconnected. “Jess, I love her and made a huge mistake, and I need to fix it.”

“Then tell me why you slept with Lexi?” Jess counters.

“I did NOT sleep with Lexi. Yes, I know what it looked like, but I couldn't go through with it. My feelings for Y/n made me feel so guilty about the make-out session and I tried to tell myself that we weren't together but in the end, it didn't matter if we were together or not, I love her. I just couldn't betray her that way. But, now she thinks that I did betray her, and I just feel like my world is ending because she won't give me a chance to explain everything.” I didn't realize until now that tears are running down my face. “I just miss her so much.”

I suddenly hear sniffing on the other side of the line. “Okay.” Confused, I parrot the word back as a question. “Okay, I believe you, and I'll help you win her back.”

“Oh my God! Thank you, thank you, thank you. I promise you won't regret this.” I allow a small glimmer of hope in.

|-----|

_ A few days later….. _

“So, I'm going to get into her room and get her to promise me to hear you out. Then, I'll bring her to your room. Sound good?” Jess says over the phone. 

“Sounds great. Thanks again, Jess. I know you didn't have to do this.” I tell her with deep gratitude.

“Everyone deserves a second chance, just don't make me regret it, or I will hurt you.” She ends on a very serious note.

“Believe me, I will do everything in my power to make her happy. She...she means everything to me,” I confess. “I've never said that to anyone.”

“Okay, lover boy, I get it. Hopefully, I will deliver your girl to you in the next hour, hour and a half at most. If I can't get her here, I'll call you back. But don't worry, I'll do my best to get her there.”

I wish her luck and hang up the phone then double check my reflection in the mirror. I've put on my best suit, and I've made sure that everything is clean. I want nothing to distract her from what I'm going to say. Starting to pace in the small space in front of my bed, I decide that I can't take it anymore, and I grab the single rose from the desk and make my way to her room.

I can hear Y/n and Jess through the door. “Just go and hear him out, please?”

“Why? So he can break my heart again... I… I just don't know if I can take that a second time.” Her words rip me to shreds. I just want to hold her and take all this pain away, even though I caused it.

“I promise, it won't be like last time.” Jess pleads on my behalf, and I'm so grateful. I hear footsteps toward the door. I hear Y/n sigh, “Well, let's go and get this over with. Should I angry knock on his door?” 

I don't stop my hand from hitting the door. I hear both girls gasp at the sound and knock two more times to make it sound like that was the purpose of the first one. Quickly, I put the rose into the inside breast pocket of my coat. Jess speaks up first, “Don't just stand there. Open the door.”

The door opens, and there she is. She's a glorious sight even though her eyes are puffy and red from crying, and her hair and clothes are disheveled like she hasn't left her bed all day. It takes everything in me not to run to her and wrap her up in my arms. “Brendon,” she gasps, “what are you doing here? I was just about to leave to head for your room.”

“I couldn't wait any longer. I had to see you.”

Jess shifts awkwardly on her feet before saying that’s her cue to leave, and she makes a hasty exit, leaving me at Y/n’s mercy, standing in her doorway.

\---

**Reader POV**

Brendon is standing in your doorway looking handsome in a well-tailored suit, and you glare at him.  _ He has some nerve showing up in my room. Seriously. Wasn’t me yelling at him on Wednesday enough? He USED me and strung me along. He would have fucked me if I wasn’t a virgin. I’m probably not experienced enough for him. And getting Jess involved. Not cool. She KNOWS what happened. She showed me the video and told me everything.  _

“How DARE you come here? I'm SO not in the mood to talk to you right now. Was the last time not enough for you? You needed me to yell at you some more? I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! You're still using me, aren't you? Your twisted little game. Tell me honestly, would you have fucked me if I wasn't a virgin? Poor sweet innocent little Y/n, not experienced enough for you? And now you have the audacity to get Jess involved with your little charade? Jesus Christ, Brendon… what are you playing at? Do you ENJOY being yelled at? Does it turn you on? Are you THAT twisted in the head?”

“I… I’m…” 

“Nope. Not this time. You’re going to hear me out, THEN you can GET OUT of my room. Look, Brendon,” you sigh wearily, “I trusted you with things that I’ve never trusted anyone with before. I let you touch me in places that have never been touched before. But instead of valuing that and being careful with me, the minute I was gone, you went and fucked a girl who didn’t treat you well. A girl who, for all intents and purposes, played with you and hurt you and turned around and used you. You had to have known that I had feelings for you. You don’t just let anyone touch you so intimately for the first time if you don’t have feelings for them if there isn’t something special.”

Brendon fidgets uncomfortably. 

“I think the worst part of this whole thing was how it wasn’t even 24 hours later, and we were effectively in bed together, and you hadn’t breathed a single word to me of what happened with you and Lexi. I don’t understand that Brendon. WHY didn’t you tell me? I would THINK that if you only saw me as a friend, that we’re close enough that you would tell me because you would want me to be happy that you got laid. If you LIKED me as more than that, you wouldn’t have done it. You would have possibly even approached me about it, but you’ve made it clear that you don’t want me like that. So TELL ME, Brendon, WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING?”

Flinching back, Brendon tries to defend himself. “We aren’t together, so I didn’t know how to tell you! Telling you would have had implications and required me to explain…” He gasps and clams up.

“EXPLAIN WHAT? That you’re a manwhore looking to pick up any willing girl? That now that you’re getting laid, you don’t need me anymore? That you’re too good for just one girl and want two in your bed?”

Brendon shakes his head, panicked.

“JUST TELL ME. THIS CAN’T BE ANY WORSE THAN I THINK IT ALREADY IS.”

“I didn’t do it Y/n. I didn’t sleep with her! I already told you that, but you won’t believe me! I made you a promise at the beginning of summer that I would prove to you that you deserve someone who cherishes you and wants you physically as well as emotionally and mentally, and that’s what I've been trying to do! I’ve been slowly building it all up.” With pleading eyes, Brendon gives you a beseeching look of desperation.

You scoff and roll your eyes, “Yeah. Sure. Why should I believe that you haven’t been going to Lexi to get your rocks off behind my back? It makes sense really. Play around with the innocent one until she gives up her virginity to you. Until then, get off with someone else on the side. Why should I believe you?”

Brendon bites his lip indecisively before pulling a single red rose from inside his jacket and exploding, “I fucking love you Y/n, and I had no idea how to tell you! So I’ve been working my way up to it, trying to show you in other ways… physically… emotionally. I’m not good at this… this… relationship thing, but fuck,” he drops his head into his hands, the rose resting between his fingers, “I love you, and I have no idea how to fix this and prove to you that’s you’re everything to me. I’m sorry, you know, that you didn’t find out about Lexi from me. But I promise I didn’t sleep with her. I couldn’t. We were there, outside my door, and I… I stopped and your face was there in my head, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do that to you.” 

Stuttering, Brendon’s shoulders start to shake causing a petal to fall from the rosebud, “I… I love you Y/n. P-please, let me make this right. Please l-l-let me show you what you mean to me. Just… I’ll… I’ll do anything Y/n. Let me prove to you that I can be good to you… and that… that you can trust me.”

You gape at Brendon’s words, completely unable to comprehend what he’s saying, let alone respond to it, “I… you… we…” Pausing, you pull yourself together, whispering, “...love?”

Peeking up, he looks at you cautiously, “Yeah, I… yeah, I love you. I love you so much Y/n. Please please please let me show you. I…” He takes a deep breath, holding the rose out to you as if a peace offering, “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make you mine. If you decide you don’t want me or still can’t trust me, then I’ll… I mean… I’ll deal with it. Please just give me a chance and let me fix this.”

You look at the sight before you, this man baring his heart to you, claiming that he didn't do what was said he had done, that he loves you and will do anything to prove himself to you, that he is worthy of loving you. A tiny bit of you caves as you accept the rose. “Just know that you have a long way to go before we can be close to what we had before… a long way,” you look him in the eyes to make sure he understands that you're not falling right back into where you were.

A glimmer of hope shines in his eyes at your words. “Can... can I give you a hug?” He quietly requests.

“I… okay…” you level a stern look at him, “But no funny business.” Holding out his arms, he lets you come to him, and you melt into his body as he pulls you tightly to himself.

“God, I’ve missed you,” He nuzzles his face into your hair, “The past few days have been the absolute worst.” Face buried in his neck, you nod your agreement.

Pulling back you look into his eyes, big and brown, and shining with unshed tears. “Just so we’re clear, I still don’t really trust you, and you’re going to have to do some work to rebuild that trust. We’re seeing each other exclusively, but I’m not calling you my boyfriend. Got it?”

Brendon nods eagerly and pulls you back in for another hug.


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning, you’re awoken by your phone ringing. Groggily, you answer on the third ring.

“Good morning, beautiful.” Stretching, you groan as a response. “I'm so sorry. I woke you up, didn't I?”

“S’okay, I needed to get up anyway. It was a nice wake-up call, so thank you.”

You can hear his smile through the phone. “Anything for you, Y/n. I was wondering if you had any plans tonight?” You reply that you don't have anything planned. “I was hoping I could take you out for dinner, you know, a proper first date?” You hear the nerves in his voice.

“That sounds nice. I'd love to. Did you have any particular restaurant in mind?”

“Yup, got it all planned. I'll pick you up at six.”

|------|

By 5:45, you're ready, your outfit of choice being your favorite sundress and strappy sandals. Flipping through your phone, you think about what you want out of this. _What needs to happen in order for me to trust him again? He said he loves me… Do I love him? If we ignore the whole Lexi thing, do my feelings change?_ With a sigh, you nervously double check the state of your hair. _It’s just Brendon. He’s seen you literally in bed before. It’s not a big deal. If he’s serious about this, it won’t matter what you look like._ You get lost in your thoughts about Brendon and his intentions.

_Knock, knock, knock…_

The noise makes you jump. “Shit…” You mumble. “Coming!” You take one last look on the mirror. _As good as it's gonna get…_

You open the door, and your breath leaves your lungs at the sight. Brendon stands before you in black jeans and button up with black boots and a black leather jacket, a bouquet of stargazer lilies in hand.

“Wow, you look amazing.” He breathes. “These are for you but their beauty is eclipsed by yours.” With a small smile, you take the flowers and thank him, inviting him in so you can put the flowers in a vase before you leave. He politely declines, saying he'll wait at the door. _He's respecting my space._ You tell him that you'll be just a minute. Grabbing your favorite vase, you place the lilies inside and gently caress the petals as you enjoy their scent. _He's off to a good start._

Grabbing your purse, you join him at your door. “Ready?” He proffers his arm to you, and you smile at him as you wrap your arm around his.

Fifteen minutes later, you arrive at the local Japanese steakhouse. “How does hibachi sound?”

“Sounds like fun.” You smile. _I've mentioned one time that I love hibachi. Can't believe he remembered._

Once you're seated and ordered, he asks about your day. “Well, I received a very sweet wake up call this morning, and it's been great ever since. Caught up on my homework and got my room clean. Going on a date with a nice boy,” you smirk at him, “and hopefully the date is as nice as the boy.”

The chef kept things interesting during his preparation of your meal. As he fries the rice, he motions to Brendon that he wants him to catch a bit of rice in his mouth. “Yeah, come on, Brendon!” you cheer him on. Brendon motions to the chef that he's game. The chef balances the tiny clump of rice on the end of his spatula and sends it flying through the air. Brendon maneuvers to catch it, and it bounces off his nose. You giggle loudly at the spectacle, and he gives you a big pout.

“Come on, try again.” The chef eggs him on.

“Dang right, I'm trying again,” Brendon grumbles under his breath. Sliding his chair back, he prepares for his second attempt. The rice is launched and this time, it’s a perfect catch. Brendon throws both hands up in victory, and you join him in his celebration.

The chef points to you. “Your turn.” Not wanting to rain on Brendon’s parade, you politely decline.

“Come on, Y/n!” He grins at you, still riding the high. Reluctantly, you acquiesce. Once more, the chef loads up a tiny ball of rice and launches it into the air. You watch it carefully and line up your mouth so it lands on your tongue with ease. Grinning in triumph, you then turn to Brendon who is slack-jawed at your side. “How,” he asks, placing his hand on top of yours, “how are you so good at everything?” Blushing at his words, you tell him that you aren't. Grabbing your hand, he brings it to his lips, placing a soft kiss to the top of it. “You are amazing. Don't let anyone tell you differently.”

After dinner is over, Brendon leads you over to an ice cream shop walking distance from the restaurant. Walking up to the window, he orders your favorite along with his own. _He remembers everything I've ever told him. Even if it was in passing._ After receiving your cone, you comment on how he remembered. “Of course, I remembered. How could I forget anything about you?”

Once you've finished your cone, Brendon ventures towards the park, hopefully. “Do you want to go for a walk in the park? It’s nice out, and it’s not dark yet. We can watch the sunset by the lake?”

“Sure,” you respond.

You feel a small shiver as a breeze blows across your bare shoulders. Before you can even say a word, Brendon has slipped off his jacket and drapes it on your back. It's so warm from his body heat, and it smells just like him. You slip your arms into the sleeves and hug it to yourself. He places his arm around your shoulders, but you feel him stiffen. “Is this okay?” He looks in your eyes, searching for your approval. Smiling, you nod your head. You feel his body relax against you, now knowing that you're okay with the contact. Looking up at him, you feel more comfortable too, knowing that he's more relaxed. As you make your way to a bench on the shore of the lake, you take the moment to rest your head against his chest.

Settling down, you curl into Brendon, savoring his warmth. He wraps his arm tighter around you and rests his head against yours. “Y/n?” he asks softly, “It’s just… I don’t want to make you uncomfortable okay? I… I just want you to know that… That I want everything with you, but I know you don’t fully trust me right now. So I need you to tell me if I ever go too far, or if something is too much. And I’m… I’m leaving all the physical stuff up to you. If you want to be more physical in any way than we’re currently doing, I need you to tell me. I just… I don’t want to be that guy… I don’t want you to just be okay with something. I need you to want it… want it from me, be it cuddling again or a back massage or…” he coughs self-consciously, “anything else.”

Looking up at him, you smile gently, “Brendon Urie. That is possibly the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me. I DO like you and all that, but…” you bite your lip nervously, “I’m not sure what it’s going to take for me to fully trust you again. I WANT to trust you, but I don’t. So we’re going to have to work on that together, okay?”

Brendon smiles softly and caresses your cheek, “I will do everything I possibly can to make this work. I want this to work. I want you. I love you.”

Sighing, you turn back to look across the lake to watch the sun set. He nuzzles his head into your hair, and you smile. _Things may turn out alright after all._


	12. Chapter 12

_ Mid-term exams suck. _ But, you've just finished your last one, and you're just exhausted. Rolling your shoulders and stretching your neck, you trudge your way back to your room. 

You plow through the door, just wanting to collapse on your bed, and you're just about to when you notice a bouquet of pink and yellow roses and a card on the table beside your bed. You drop your stuff next to your bed to get to the flowers. You were beginning to get used to finding little gifts from Brendon in your room. It took a week or two to figure out that it was Jess who was helping him get the items into your room. He was absolutely spoiling you. Most of the time it was just a small handwritten note telling you different things about you that he loved or different ways that he loved you. You had purchased a small chest to keep them in, but it was especially nice when you got flowers or other gifts from him. Taking a moment, you smell the sweetness of the roses before opening the envelope. A slip of paper and a gift card fall into the table. Glancing at the gift card, you see it’s to a local spa. Snatching up the note, you eagerly read his words to you:

_ Dearest Y/n,  _

_     Midterms are done, and I know you have excelled on all of them, just because I know how smart you are and how hard you studied. So, I want to treat you for all your hard work. Included in this note is a gift card for you to go pamper yourself. There should be enough for a massage, a mani-pedi, and a facial. Go, enjoy yourself. I love you. _

_ Brendon _

You flop on your bed at his words and hug the letter to your chest. Grabbing your phone, you call the spa to see if they can fit you in. They inform you that you already have an appointment set in thirty minutes. You let them know that you'll be there and rush out the door.

The whole time you're at the spa, your mind is on Brendon; how sweet and attentive he's been. You sigh in contentment as your massage begins.  _ If this is how life with Brendon is going to be, I think I'm almost there… almost ready to let him in. _

|-----|

After you get back, you race down the hall to thank Brendon for the thoughtful gift. Pausing, you hear Brendon and Lexi’s voices drift down the hall from around the corner.

“What do you want from me? Just spit it out.” He sounds annoyed, and you wait to hear what Lexi’s response is.

“It’s… Bren… I’m… I’m pregnant.”

_ She’s pregnant...?  _ You hear Brendon take a deep breath before quietly stuttering, “Y-you are? I… W-w-why are you telling me this?”

Lexi’s voice is shaking, “It’s yours, Bren… It’s your baby.”

Inhaling sharply, you listen to his response, “I… W-w-what do you mean? It’s… It’s mine?”

“It’s yours, Bren. Of course, it’s yours. I haven’t slept with anyone else…” Lexi sounds like she’s crying now.

Sounding simultaneously confused and fearful, Brendon whispers, “I… W-what happened that night? I… I don’t remember sleeping with you…”

“Bren, sweetie… You… were… You were really drunk. You don’t remember sleeping together because you were just THAT drunk.”

Turning around, you walk away quickly.  _ I… He lied to me. He LIED. He doesn’t remember that night. He doesn’t remember them sleeping together. He… they… Lexi’s PREGNANT. And it’s BRENDON’S.  _ Trying to hold back sobs, you run back to your room.


	13. Chapter 13

Gasping, you jolt awake, sweating profusely. You sit up and bring your legs to your chest, curling into a ball, burying your face in your knees.  _ It was all just a dream… Just a dream… Just. A. Dream.  _ With a whimper, you reach for your phone to check the time.  _ 4:35am. Can I call Brendon now? Will he be mad at me? I need to talk to him. I need him to tell me it was a dream.  _

Deciding to call him, Brendon picks up on the second ring, voice rough with sleep, “H’lo?” 

“Br-endon?” The tears and fear are evident in your voice.

“Y/n,” he's fully awake now. “What's wrong?”

“I…” You feel so small at revealing this, but you need him, “had a really bad nightmare... c-can you p-p-please come over?”

A moment of silence and you think he's going to tell you that you're fine and to go back to sleep, but what he does next comforts you. “Lemme put some clothes on. I'm on my way, I'll be right there.”

And less than 5 minutes later, Brendon's gently knocking on your door. You fling yourself, sobbing into his arms, “Tell me it's not true, please tell me it's not true.”

He holds you close. “Sweetheart, what are you talking about? Is what true?” He pulls you to sit on his lap on your bed. You blubber out what happened in your nightmare, crying harder at some points. He gently rocks you as you cry. “Oh, honey, no. None of that is true. Since you and I started our original arrangement, I haven't been with anyone. I… I couldn’t. Even when I was drunk and horny and ready to get off with anyone, to take the edge off because I couldn’t have you,” he bites his lip at the admission, “your face kept popping up in my head. I… I’m YOURS Y/n. Even as I was trying to do something to forget you, how much I was missing you, you were there, in my head, reminding me. My head and my heart belong to you, sweetheart, and I will continue to do everything in my abilities to show you that.”

Clinging onto Brendon, you bury your face in his neck, choking back sobs, confused at why this is affecting you so harshly. He rubs you back gently, shushing you quietly, trying to get you to calm down. “Shhhhhh. It was just a dream, sweetheart. I’m here now. I haven’t slept with anyone since meeting you, I promise. Breathe in,” he inhales slowly, trying to get you to match his breaths, “breathe out. Now again.” You go through this pattern a couple more times until your breathing has calmed down and you’re no longer crying into his shoulder.

Pulling back, you wipe tears off your face with the back of your hand, still sniffing slightly. “I… I’m sorry about that. I just… I don’t even know.”

Holding your face in his hands, Brendon kisses your forehead softly. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself. Just remember that I’m yours and no one else’s. Lexi is nobody to me now, and I definitely did not sleep with her that night. Now do you want to scoot back a little so we can lean against the wall?”

Nodding at him, you move so that you’re both propped up by the wall, and you’re cuddled up against him. He wraps his arms around you tightly while you lay your head against his shoulder. You relax into his warmth as he keeps stroking your back soothingly.

Feeling Brendon freeze, you look up at him quizzically. “Um-” he chokes, “are you... are you wearing my shorts?”

Looking down, you check, “Oh. Yeah. I am.” You feel yourself blushing, “They, uh, they were big and comfy, and I like them. Um… did you want them back?”

Brendon inhales slowly, eyes closed, trying not to read more into it. “It’s okay. You can keep them. I have plenty more.” Exhaling, he opens his eyes again, “Plus, as I said before, you look cute in them.”

Both of you relax, Brendon's gentle touch and presence soothes you back to sleep.

**Brendon's POV**

_ She's asleep.  _ You gaze down at her sleeping form still clinging to you in sleep. “What happened, babe? What brought this on?” You stroke her hair to move it out of her face. She grumbles in her sleep and buries deeper into you. You would give everything to just stay there and hold her all night but you don't want to push your luck.

Reluctantly, you ease away and lay her down. “No….” She mumbled, reaching out for you in her sleep. “Awe, darlin’.” You sit beside her on the bed, holding her hand. It was enough to smooth the worry lines out of her face. She makes a satisfied sigh. “What am I going to do with you?”

After a few minutes, even though you don't want to, you tenderly remove your hand from hers. She doesn't move this time. Grabbing the blanket at the foot of the bed, you tuck her in. Bending over, you place a quick kiss on her temple, “I love you more than you know.”

Finding a chair on the opposite side of the room, you settle in for the next few hours. You want to be there in case she has another nightmare. You watch at the slow rise and fall of her chest.  _ How can she be so mesmerizing just sleeping? _ Slowly, sleep takes you from your visual dream.

**Reader's POV**

Turning over, you start to wake up. As your vision becomes clearer, you notice that you're not alone. Before you can react, you recognize the head of dark hair.  _ It's Brendon… He stayed. _ You prop yourself up, staring at the sleeping boy on the other side of your room. He is a sight to behold, all stretched out, hair falling in his face, strong arms crossed over his chest. The same arms that held you last night as he reassured you that your nightmare wasn't real. 

Quietly, you cross the room, to his side. You run your fingers lightly through his hair, pushing it out of his face.  _ How is he so gorgeous? _ Running a finger from his cheekbone down his jaw, you pause right at his lips, finding yourself wanting to have those lips on yours, but not knowing if you're ready to take that step. Sighing, you place your hand on his shoulder and begin to lightly shake it. “Brendon? Brendon, wake up,” you whisper, not wanting to startle him. He stirs, stretches, then opens his eyes. 

“G’morning, darlin’,” his voice sounding just like it did when you called him earlier, making you melt into a puddle.

Smiling down at him, you state more than ask, “you stayed….”

“Of course, I did. I wasn't gonna leave you after that.” He stands and pulls you into a hug, and you mumble your thanks into his chest. Placing a kiss on top of your head, he checks, “You’re okay now?” You nod and snuggle further into him. “Glad you’re okay, sweetheart. I’ll always be here whenever you need me. Promise.” Smiling, you look up into his eyes, genuine and concerned. He smiles back softly, “So since everything's okay, I wanted to ask you, do you want to come to a party with me tonight?”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight tw for sexual assault.

Walking into the party hand in hand, you grin at Brendon, “Let’s have some fun tonight shall we? I want to dance with you.”

He nods in agreement and pulls you in to give your shoulder a tight squeeze, whispering in your ear, “As if I could dance with anyone else.”

You blush as your turn to give him a peck on the cheek, “I’ll hold you to that then.”

As you walk through the party, you wave at Jess, who smirks at you when she sees Brendon and gives you a thumbs up. Spying the cooler, you drag Brendon over to grab a drink, pulling out two beers and handing one to him.

“Thanks babe!” He says while popping the top open and taking a sip. The nickname warms your cheeks slightly, but the poor lighting hides the color. You take a drink of your beer as well and look around momentarily.

“You look gorgeous tonight, well, I mean, not that you don’t look gorgeous every other time I see you, but you look really pretty.” Brendon says suddenly, regaining your attention.

Giggling, you give him a once over for the first time since he came to get you earlier that evening. “You’re looking pretty dashing yourself tonight, Urie!” At this, he runs a hand through his already perfect hair and grins at you, uttering a quiet but appreciative thank you.

You talk and drink for a while, each of your eyes wandering from time to time to scope out the party. At some point, you see a group of guys getting rowdy nearby, tossing empty beer cans at each other while drunkenly running into other party guests. You think Brendon must see the same thing, because he protectively wraps an arm around your waist and guides you around to a less obnoxious area.

Ending up near where people are dancing to some song you’ve never heard, you notice Brendon holding out his hand. “Would you do me the absolute honor of dancing with me?” he asks in a faux-regal voice. Laughing, you tell him of course, placing your hand in his. You walk to the unofficial dance floor, and Brendon puts his hands on your waist, swaying slowly back and forth.

“Are we slow dancing?” you ask with a grin, “This song is hardly the song for it.”

Brendon shrugs and continues to move to a slower beat that’s apparently in his head. You move along with him, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck. He bends his head down to yours and begins to quietly sing the first chorus of “Fly Me To The Moon” in your ear, and your heart soars. You smile up at him while he continues singing. He has a beautiful voice, you note mentally.

The song from the speaker changes, and Brendon whispers in your ear, “Hey, I'll be right back.” You smile at him in acknowledgement and follow him with your eyes until he disappears down the hall that leads to the restroom.

Before you have time to turn around, some guy starts dancing with you. “Hey, pretty lady.” Feeling a little awkward, you say hi back, and the next thing you know, he's grabbed your hands and is spinning you around. It would be fun if, one, it had been Brendon spinning you around and, two, this guy wasn't starting to thoroughly creep you out.

As soon as you have the chance to stop him, this guy is slowly moving the both of you towards the hallway. “Thank you for the dance but I should be getting back to my date,” you try to tell him politely as you move to get away. Looking around, you search the room, hoping that Brendon’s finished in the bathroom.

“Please, that guy you're with is nothing special. You need to be with a real man.” His grip around your wrist is past the point of being painful.

“Stop! You're hurting me, let me go!” Your voice is getting louder as you say more. As you go to scream, he clasps his hand over your mouth to keep from drawing attention. Pulling you towards the first open bedroom, he maneuvers you inside. _Brendon, where are you?_ He attempts to close the door behind you, but the latch doesn't click and gapes open about an inch.

**Brendon's POV**

As you’re washing your hands, you swear you can hear Y/n yell something. You don't like what it could mean because it doesn't exactly sound like a happy sound. Seeing the door next to the bathroom go to swing shut, you rush over and listen and hear a muffled scream from inside followed by a man's cruel laugh. _That was definitely Y/n._

Bursting in, you find some guy pinning Y/n to the bed. Multiple emotions bubble up inside you, and the one that wins is rage. Grabbing the guy's shoulders, you throw him across the room. “How dare you lay a finger on her?” You draw back and punch him square in the nose.

“Brendon!”

**Reader's POV**

Brendon’s head snaps back to you as you’ve curled into yourself on the bed. He drops the asshole and rushes to your side. “Oh my God, are you okay? Did he hurt you?” His eyes roam your body looking for any sign of wounds. Seeing red marks on your wrist where the guy had grabbed you, you see Brendon’s expression harden. “I'm gonna kill him.” He goes to rise off the bed to pummel your attacker. Grabbing his arm, you pull him back to you with all your might. “Brendon, please, don't leave me.”

The tone of your voice breaks through to him. Returning to your side, he pulls you into his embrace, and the asshole takes this moment to bolt out of the room. You can feel from the tension in Brendon’s body that he wants to track the bastard down and do some real damage. After a moment, his body relaxes, and his focus turns so it’s solely on you. He starts whispering comforting words in your ear and running his hands up and down your back to soothe you and stop your trembling. “Shhhhhh, Y/n. I’m here. I’m right here. There’s no need to be afraid. I took care of him for you.” He rotates his body so he's sitting on the bed and pulls you into his lap. Burying your face in his neck, you breathe in deeply to calm down, and Brendon's scent soothes your nerves.

Still clinging to Brendon as if your life depends on it, a jolt of realization runs through you. _I trust him. I… I trust him again. He’s managed to work his way back in…_ He continues to gently stroke your back to keep you calm. You look up at him with a small smile. “Hey Bren? Will… um…” you cough self consciously, “Will you be my boyfriend?”

Surprised, he looks at you hopefully, “I… Y/n… I… of course I’ll be your boyfriend. As long as you’re sure? I don’t want you to do this for me or because of what happened. I want you to… to be sure. I-I-I don’t ever want you to regret this… regret me. I don’t want you to think of your time with me as a mistake…”

Reaching up, you ruffle his hair adoringly, “Brendon. I could never regret you. You ARE the sweetest boy I know, and I… I trust that you won’t do anything intentionally to hurt me. I think you’re worthy of the risk of letting you back into my heart.”

He pulls you into a tight hug, “Sweetheart, I’ll do my very very best not to hurt you again. I promise I’ll be the bestest boyfriend.”

Nuzzling your cheek into his chest, you smile softly, “I know you will, Bren. Besides… I’ve missed the cuddles.”

As you pull back, Brendon looks down at you, running a hand gently through your hair, "C-can... can I kiss you? Will you let me be your first?"

 


	15. Chapter 15

_ As you pull back, Brendon looks down at you, running a hand gently through your hair, "C-can... can I kiss you? Will you let me be your first?" _

With a soft smile, you look into his eyes, gazing at you as if you’re the only thing in the world that matters, “Please, Brendon,” you whisper, “Please kiss me.”

Whimpering, he lowers his head slowly, giving you time to pull away if you really aren’t ready. You wrap your arms around his neck as his lips press gently against yours, soft and warm, obviously letting you take the lead, not wanting to rush you. Your arms tighten, and your body melts into his; he groans against your lips and pulls back. “God, Y/n,” he sighs, “You’re-”

“Ssssh,” you murmur, clinging to him, “Let’s go back, Bren. Take me back to yours.”

|------|

Brendon fumbles his key as he tries to get it into the lock, and you giggle, arms wrapped around him from behind. “Having problems ther, Bren?”

Dropping his key altogether, he turns around and slings his arms around you. “You’re distracting me, and you know it.”

Ducking out from his arms, you smile as he pouts. You reach down to grab the key and unlock the door. “Well, since you are incapable of unlocking your own door, it seems I must do it for you.” You waltz into his room before peeking over your shoulder. “Coming? I assume you want more kisses?”

Brendon blinks at you before chasing after you, closing the door behind him. As he takes his shirt off, you freeze with a small sound. Turning around, he looks at you, concern painted on his face. “I- what’s wrong? Y/n?” He reaches over to caress your cheek. “You-” he chokes, “You don’t regret kissing me do you? Or asking me to be your boyfriend?” He pulls his hand away fearfully. “I promised that I would respect your choice. But you need to tell me if this is what you want. If you want me.” Backing away, he starts putting his shirt back on. “If… if this is about some obligation you feel towards me about tonight… you-” he chokes again, “you don’t have to. I can bring you back to your room and call Jess to come back to be with you…”

With a small smile, you roll your eyes, “Brendon. If you’re done now, may I speak?” Running his hand through his hair nervously, he nods. “Brendon Urie. I do not regret kissing you, and I do not regret asking you to be my boyfriend. I just stopped for a second because I… you started taking your shirt off, and I wasn’t sure if you were expecting us to have sex.”

“I…” Brendon sighs in relief, “I wasn’t expecting anything. I was just taking my shirt off because, well, we’ve cuddled like that before, and I… well… I assumed you would want some cuddles.” He runs his hand through his hair again. “We don’t have to. We can- we can… I can walk you back, and we can forget this ever happened.”

Stepping forward, you cup his cheek. “Brendon. In the nicest way possible, you might want to shut up. Otherwise, I’m going to start getting a complex that you don’t really want me after all.”

“I- Y/n! You… I… you know that I- I want you! Really badly, like… really, really badly. You’re beautiful and cute and gorgeous and sexy, and Jesus Christ, you have no idea what you do to me! God, Y/n. I’m wrapped around your little finger. If you wanted me on my knees for you, I would be on my knees for you, and- oh holy fuck, I did not just admit that.” He gives you a panicked look, eyes wide with dismay. “ I mean I- uh- not like- I mean, I- uh-  I… I’m going to shut up now.”

Laughing, you pull him in and ruffle his hair, “I did tell you to shut up, silly. You should probably listen to me next time.”

Brendon cringes, “I’m sorry. It just kind of came out. I… Can we just forget that happened?”

“Hmmmmmmm,” you pretend to consider, “Nah. We’re not going to forget that. We’re just going to table that for the future. It’ll be a good ego boost if I ever need it. Besides,” you bop him on the nose playfully, “who wouldn’t want someone as beautiful as you on your knees for them?” 

“I…” Brendon’s mouth opens and closes, completely speechless. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure to use that against you in the future. Wrapped around my little finger and all that.” You wink at him before reaching down and drawing the hem of his shirt back up. “Now where were we?”

“I… we were…” Brendon draws his shirt back over his head, and you run a hand along his abs. “Christ, Y/n. You’re gonna kill me someday. In a good way. But kill me nonetheless.”

Chuckling, you slide your bra off and walk over to the bed, “Up you go, silly. I want some quality cuddles since we’ve been lacking in the cuddle department for a couple weeks.”

Brendon clambers up onto the bed, settling onto his back, holding his arms out for you eagerly. As you settle in against his side, you hear him give a low purr of contentment, “God, Y/n. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.” He wraps his arm around you, pulling you tightly into his body, running his hand lightly up and down your arm.

Resting your hand on his chest, you start drawing little swirls into the skin of his pecs. “I just... Jesus Y/n-“ Brendon chokes out, and you look up at him curiously, “I just... I, ummmm, that feels really good and, ummmm, if you keep doing that.” He coughs, “I’m just warning you that I’m likely going to end up really aroused. If, ummm, that makes you uncomfortable, uhhh, you should probably stop doing that and just cuddle, ummmm, like, without the, erm, patterns with your fingers and things.” Placing your hand flat on his chest, you start making broad circles with your palm, massaging lightly. “I... Y/n- that’s... that’s not going to be much better. I just... it’s been a while and, ummm, I’m really REALLY attracted to you, and you’re mine now, and my body thinks that means you’re ALL mine now. And I know you’re not! But like my body isn’t going to want to cooperate if you keep, ummm, stroking me?”

Looking at Brendon innocently, you grin at his rambling. “Stroking you huh? So you’re saying that I should stop doing this?” You run your hand down his torso and across his abs in firm, sweeping motions. “You’re saying that this,” you start tracing the lines of his abs, “turns you on? What happens,” you start tickling along his v-line, “if I do this?” Rising up, you move so you’re hovering above him slightly and lean down to capture his lips in yours. Moaning, Brendon’s arms come up to reach around you and pull your body down onto his. Releasing his lips you wait until his eyes open to look at you, and you raise a questioning eyebrow.

“I-I-I... wha- uhhhhh...”

Snickering, you press your lips against his again, body draped completely over his. You take a hand, tangling it in Brendon’s hair, and he whines at the feeling. As you massage his scalp with your hand, he whimpers, and you feel him melt under you. Sucking his bottom lip into your mouth, you trace your tongue along it, and he whines. You pull away and look down at him, eyes closed, jaw slack, and hair messy. Slowly, his eyes open and find yours, and he whispers, “Jesus, Y/n. And you say you’re inexperienced. I fear for what you’ll do to me once you’ve had some practice.”

With a smirk, you crawl down his body until you can rest your head on his chest. You settle down on top of him, completely draped, warm and heavy over him. You feel one hand creep up and start stroking your hair while the other makes small circles on your back. Sighing and snuggling into him, you hear him mumble above you, “God, you really ARE going to be the death of me. And what a death it will be.”

|——-|

A while later Brendon murmurs, “Hey. Y/n. Not that I don’t want you here, but I wasn’t sure... you can sleep over if you want, but I know... this is new and all, and I wanted to let you go if... if you weren’t comfortable, um, staying the night.”

Yawning, you stretch out, wiggling around and rubbing your cheek against his chest. A small choking sound from above you causes you to look up quizzically, and you see Brendon biting his lip. “I... um… I’m very attracted to you, and you’re wiggling around on top of me.”

“Oh. Sorry.” You roll off him and finish stretching out. Reaching up, you cup his cheek and lean over to kiss him. With a groan, he molds his lips to yours and runs a hand up to scratch at the nape of your neck. Sighing, you melt into him. “I think… I think I can get behind this kissing thing. Especially your lips. They’re big and soft and pouty and very suckable and biteable. I have to say, they feel very nice against mine.”

Brendon blinks at you, “I… have never had anyone describe my lips to me quite like that before. Or, like, ever in general.”

“That’s a shame,” you tell him, rubbing your thumb across his bottom lip, “for you have the most perfect lips that I have ever seen.”

Humming, you kiss him once more before pulling away slowly. “I… thank you, by the way. I… I do like you, and a part of me wants to stay over, but I’m… I’m not ready for that yet. I just.. I feel bad. Now that I’ve gotten you all worked up and stuff, I’m, going to have to leave… please don’t be mad at me?”

With a sigh, Brendon caresses your cheek tenderly, “Sweetheart. I will never be mad at you for doing what’s comfortable and best for you and for sticking to your boundaries. Yes, I’m attracted to you and think you’re insanely beautiful and sexy and all of that, but that’s not the only thing I like about you. I love so much more about you that I’m not going to list right now, and your body is just the cherry on top. As long as you’re not pushing yourself to do anything you’re not ready for, I can deal. I’m not going to force you to deal with my body’s reactions. Just know that they ARE there and, well, I…” he chuckles awkwardly, “I might have to go take care of them, every once in a while.”

Leaning in for a final kiss, you mumble against his lips, “Thanks for understanding. You really are the sweetest.”


	16. Chapter 16

“I think I’m sick…” Brendon checks his Snapchat and responds quickly with a text message, “You think? I think you’re definitely sick if from nothing but the fact you’re curled up in bed buried under a mountain of blankets.”

You check your phone and grimace at his logic, “Fine. I’m definitely sick.”

“Aww. Sweetheart… Do you need anything? I’ll come over.” Brendon texts while grabbing his shoes and backpack. 

“You don’t have to. I’ll be fine. But if you insist, the door is currently unlocked.” You drop your phone into the pile of blankets and close your eyes.

Groaning as Brendon comes through the door, you peel your eyes open. “Hey Bren,” you let out a series of coughs, “you probably shouldn’t come too close.”

He kicks off his shoes and drops his bag next to your desk. “Nonsense. I’m your boyfriend, and I’m here to take care of you.” Placing a hand on your forehead to check your temperature, he looks at you critically, “Sweetheart… you’re a bit on the warm side. Have you checked for a fever?”

Shaking your head, you groan at the movement, “I was napping, and I woke up feeling meh. My med-pack should be in the top drawer? It should have a thermometer in it. Can you grab it?”

Brendon goes rummaging around, not commenting on anything else he finds occupying the drawer. Wordlessly, he hands you the thermometer along with the appropriate covers. Taking one out, you wrap the thermometer and place it under your tongue and wait for it to beep. Closing the drawer, Brendon comes to the side of your bed and looks at you, “Hey, can you scoot over a smidge? I’m trying to find a place to insert myself into this comfy looking blanket pile.”

With a weak smile, you start to protest as the thermometer goes off, and you check the readout. “100.1 degrees. Yeah, I have a fever.”

“Do you have ibuprofen or anything?” Brendon checks, “I have some in my room if you don’t.”

“Brendon,” you pause and roll your eyes at him, “I’m a female. If you were unaware, I get monthly cramps. There’s both ibuprofen and acetaminophen in the med-pack. Can you grab one of them and pass me my water bottle?” 

Slightly embarrassed, he goes back over to your dresser and starts digging around, biting his lip at some of the other contents of the drawer that you had probably forgotten about when you told him to go searching through your med pack. He hands you the ibuprofen and your bottle of water. “Can I get you anything else? Or can I come cuddle you?”

Staring at him, you protest, “I’m sick, Brendon! I don’t want to get you sick. If you want to keep me company, you can keep me company from there,” you point at the chair tucked into your desk, “but there is absolutely no way I’m letting you get yourself sick. And I’m all gross!”

“Awwww but Sweetheart, I’m perfectly healthy and can fight anything your body may try to throw at me. Plus, you shouldn’t be under this many blankets if you have a fever. However, there are no rules to having people keep you warm. So, if you lose a couple of these,” he peels all except one off, and you make a protesting sound as you shiver, “I can keep you warm. Your choice is either this one blanket without me or this one blanket with me. Which would you rather?”

With a sound of defeat, you shift over and hold your arms out, “You are a manipulative bastard, Brendon Urie.”

Chuckling, he whips his shirt off and climbs into bed with you, “Maybe, maybe not, but if so, I’m YOUR manipulative bastard, and I love you and I just want you to get better.” Brendon settles on his back, and you rest your head on his shoulder, draping your arm across his torso, pressing your body into his warmth.

“You’re not too warm, right?” You check with him, “I don’t want you to be too warm.”

He shakes his head and cranes his head down. You start and smack his shoulder as he kisses you, “Brendon! I’m sick! Cuddling is one thing. Kissing and possibly exchanging body fluids is completely another.” With a smile, he nips at your lips playfully, “Brendon! I’m serious! You could get sick from me!”

With a sigh, he lays back, “Babe, in the nicest way possible, I don’t give a fuck. You look so adorably sleep disheveled, and I want to kiss you. My immune system is strong. I’ll be fine. Plus, I hear kissing will make you healthy faster.”

Shaking your head at him, you scoot up so you’re hovering above him. “Just don’t blame me if you get sick. It will be all your own fault. And,” you smirk, “I will be the one kissing you.” Dropping your head down, you brush your lips lightly against his, pulling back as he tries to get more pressure. 

“I- babe. Please?” he asks, eyes soft. Chuckling, you lean back down and starting at his forehead, kiss all over his face, avoiding his lips. Lacing your fingers in his hair, you start massaging his scalp in the way you know he likes, and he whines and tries to turn his head toward you as you press your lips to the corner of his mouth. You tug his hair gently from the opposite side to let him know that’s not allowed. With a gasp, he melts under you, whimpering, “Babyyyyy. Kiss my mouth pleeeeease?”

Pressing another kiss to the corner of his mouth, you mumble, “Didn’t you say kissing would make me healthier faster? I’m kissing you,” you sit up and look at him innocently, “so I should get healthy faster, right? You said nothing about kissing me. And this way, you’re less likely to get sick from me.”

With a groan, Brendon closes his eyes, “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. 

With a grin, you lean down and press your lips to his, whispering, “You should be more specific then.” Rubbing your fingers along his scalp, you smile against his lips as he whines and presses his head harder into your hands. His left hand comes up to cup your neck and tug you closer to him, deepening the kiss. You moan as he flicks his tongue against the seam of your lips, and you sit back up again.

“No. No more kissing. You got your kisses, and I don’t trust you to not be greedy. You’re going to keep kissing me until you get sick, so I’m stopping now. Plus, I’m getting tired again.” He pouts and gives you a sad look, and you roll your eyes. Wiggling back down, you reposition yourself so your head is on his shoulder again, and his arms are wrapped around you.

“Hey there, sweetheart,” he murmurs, running his hand up and down your back, “Get some rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

With a hum, you press your body so you’re as flush against him as you can be, in order to soak up as much of his body heat as possible. 

|———|

Waking slowly, you open your eyes and see that it’s dark out, and Brendon is messing around on his phone. “Wha-time it?” you slur out sleepily. 

He checks and looks down at you, “Hey, Sweetheart. It’s 10:33. Did you want me to leave you for the night, or can I stay over?”

Giving him a considering look, you bite your lip, “I… you’re comfy. And warm. Stay?”

 


	17. Chapter 17

“Happy F...” Brendon's words trail off when you open the door, revealing you in a red, white and blue patriotic sundress. “Wow, babe, you look amazing.” 

“Hey,” you mumble shyly, taking the sight of your boyfriend in navy blue boardshorts and an open red Hawaiian style shirt, “you look pretty good yourself.” Setting your sunglasses on your head, you go to grab the tote bag that you had packed for the two of you, but you notice it's not sitting by the door anymore. “Hey, did you see…” You look up, and Brendon is swinging the bag in his hand.

“Like I was gonna make you carry that,” he says in response. “You are my girl and that means I handle all the carrying stuff. Be it to the park, the beach, or at the mall, I'll do the heavy lifting.” He puffs out his chest to show his fortitude. You go to protest, but he kisses you to silence your rebuke. “No arguments,” he says against your lips. Now, a melted puddle, you smile in acquiescence. Slinging his free arm around your shoulders, he pulls you into his side to lead you out of the building and to the park.

As the two of you arrive where the rest of your friends have gathered, there is a chorus of yours and Brendon's names. “Come on, dude! We've been waiting on you to start the Ultimate Frisbee game,” Oscar declares, as he grabs your boyfriend's arm and pulls him away. Brendon waves goodbye as his form is pulled away from you.

Once the food and drinks are set up, all the girls lay out blankets or set up folding chairs so they can lounge and watch the boys. Settling down on your favorite blanket, you finally notice that the boys have decided to play shirts versus skins and, holy cow, you nearly choke on your water, your man is playing on team skins. His back is rippling and glistening with sweat.

As you are ogling your man, Jess tries to get your attention. “Girl, you look so cute in that dress,” she compliments. You go to thank her, but several of the others chime in with more compliments. You wave them off, eyes glued to Brendon’s shirtless torso. Following your eyes, Jess smirks, “Ah. I see why you’re distracted. Pretty boy, over there’s got some nice muscles.” The other girls laugh, and you blush at being caught staring.

“I’ll tap that,” one of the other girls calls out, “if you aren’t going to do it. Or have you already?” You turn brighter red and open your mouth, trying to come up with a witty response just as the boys make their way over to where you are all sitting.

“Hey Y/n,” Brendon starts, plopping down next to you “how’s it over here? Having a good time?”

“We were just discussing how Y/n can’t take her eyes off you,” someone pipes up, “and Mel over there wants to fuck you if Y/n isn’t already doing so.”

“Ah,” he turns to face you, beckoning to you to do the same, “appreciated, but I am most definitely already taken.” Sliding a sweaty hand behind your neck, he pulls you in for a long kiss.

A slow murmur of surprise spreads through the group. “Damn Brendon,” Oscar speaks up, “I thought you were forever friend-zoned by Y/n after you fucked up and banged Lexi that one night.”

Pulling back, Brendon gives you a soft smile, thumb caressing your neck gently, “We had some fights, and it took some time, but we worked it out.” Focusing on you, he mumbles quietly, “Can’t take your eyes off me, hmm?”

Having returned to your normal color, you blush again at the question, “I… uh, you’re… um… you look good… which is to say your body… I mean…”

He laughs at your incoherent statement, “You like what you see, baby?” He flexes his abs for you, and your eyes are drawn exactly where he intends, “My girl likes my body?”

Smacking his shoulder, you roll your eyes at his antics, “Stop it! You know you’re hot. You don’t need to show off.”

“Don’t need to, maybe, but I like showing off for you!” He undulates and rolls his abs teasingly. You moan quietly, and he starts laughing, “Plus,” Brendon whispers conspiratorially, “I’m showing all these other girls what they can’t have. Only you can have all this, and they get to be jealous of you.”

“Oh, really?” With a playful grin, you open your water bottle and dump it on his head, and he yelps in surprise, “Y/n! What was that for!?” He shakes his hair out like a dog, and water goes flying, spraying everyone around him.

Shrieking, you hold your hands up to block some of the water flying in your direction. “You looked hot. I figured I would help you cool off.”

“Alright, alright, alright. Cut out the flirting you two. Let’s get this game going again.” Brendon apologizes to you for leaving as he gets up. You smile, telling him to kill it. 

Laying back, you watch at the boys resume their game of Ultimate Frisbee. Brendon jumps, reaching for the frisbee, and you bite back a moan as his back muscles twist and stretch. “Please tell me you’re planning on tapping that if you aren’t already,” you turn to see Mel has settled down next to you, her eyes following your boyfriend around the field, “because that is one scrumptious piece of meat right there.” Your eyebrows furrow as you try to come up with a response. 

“Yeah, Y/n. How is he in bed?” a voice chimes in from behind you, “There’s no way you’ve managed to keep your hands off him. And everyone can see how he looks at you. He’s such a puppy around you. He would do literally anything you wanted.”

“Wait, rewind,” a third voice pipes up, “we skipped over the part where Y/n didn’t even tell us they finally made it official. They’ve been dancing around each other since day 1, and we’ve been waiting for them to get their shit together, and they don’t even bother to tell us when they finally have.”

“One at a time, girls. One at a time.” Jess stops everyone, “Alright Y/n. Give them the low down. First, how it finally became official. Then the questions about how Brendon is in bed,” she smirks, “we want all the gory details.”

With a sigh, you shake your head and start answering the first half, trying to figure out how to unawkwardly answer the second. “Well, so… after the whole… Lexi fiasco… I was mad and avoiding Brendon and all that, and I yelled at him a couple of times, but he managed to convince Jess that he deserved a chance, so he shows up at my door with a rose and a convincing speech about how he didn’t sleep with Lexi after all because he couldn’t get me out of his head and couldn’t do that to me. So I gave him a chance and he worked his way back in, and I eventually asked him to be my boyfriend.” You skip over the whole party thing, figuring it wasn’t important for all these people to know about it. 

Glancing back over at the frisbee game, you gasp as Brendon stretches during a pause in the game. His arm and back muscles bulge and ripple as he works his way through stretching out his back, shoulders, and arms. “Jesus, babe. He’s built.” Jess mumbles, “You wouldn’t know from those loose T-shirts and hoodies he wears, but damn, you are one lucky girl.”

With a smile, you melt a little as you start talking again, “Yeah I know. He’s hot, clearly, but beyond that, he’s sweet and adorable, and he treats me so well. He respects me and supports me, and he took care of me when I was sick…”

“Alright so we know he’s great and y’all are adorable,” Mel interrupts, “but stop playing coy. You still haven’t told us how the sex is.”

“I… we… uh…haven’t…” you stammer. 

Mel turns to you with wide eyes, “Wait have you not had sex yet? You’ve managed to NOT jump him?”

“Erm,” you bite your lip, embarrassed, “no… we haven’t. We just, uh, cuddle. And kiss. Just cuddling and kissing.”

“I… wow. I’m impressed.” You turn toward Jess who is now speaking, “I respect that Y/n. But JUST cuddling and kissing? You haven’t fooled around even the tiniest bit? Do you have nice long make-out sessions at least?”

With an awkward chuckle, you scratch behind your neck, “I just… I like to move slowly, alright? So we haven’t really fooled around yet. And um… we make out. I’m not sure about NICE LONG make out sessions. But we do make out sometimes…” You drop your voice so only Jess can hear it, “Can we discuss this more later, in private?” She nods, and you mumble your thanks. Raising your voice again, you check if anyone has any other questions. 

“Not a question really,” one of the girls starts, “but it’s a shame that he’s not getting some nice steamy sex. With a body like that…” she whistles, “boy should be getting some great sex, and often.”

“Yeah!” Mel adds, “He could have anyone, and he’s stuck with a prude that won’t give him any. Girl, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll give it up before he gets bored and starts looking for it elsewhere.”

“I…” you start shakily before Jess stops you. 

“Don’t listen to them, sweetie. Brendon’s totally head over heels for you. You don’t need to have sex with him to keep him interested. Ignore them. They don’t know Brendon like you do. He’s better than that. Anyways, that’s what his right hand is for.”

“Thanks tons, Jess,” you whisper, “We’ll talk later?”

She smiles and pats your arm gently, “Of course. We can have as many girl talks as you need.”

|———|

The boys return as they finish their game, and Brendon offers you a fresh bottle of cold water as he sprawls out on the grass next to you. “Do you want to find a different spot for the fireworks?” he questions, “A better viewpoint, and like, away from the others.” You agree with him quietly, and he closes his eyes, giving you the opportunity to rake your eyes up and down his body. “Just, like, give me a second. I’m tired after that game.” You chuckle and admire the way the light of the golden hour reflects off his sweaty torso. Biting your lip, you consider what sex could be like.  _ Probably good. People are obsessed with it for a reason. And Brendon is good to me. Sex with him would probably be at least okay. He’s the best one for me to lose my virginity to… He’s hot. We’re together. He’s experienced. There’s no real reason not to, I guess… _

Groaning, Brendon rolls over, “Alright, let’s find somewhere else to hang out. I want to spend some time with you, then we can watch the fireworks and head back.” Humming quietly in agreement, you get up and start packing your stuff into the tote bag. Brendon gathers all the trash and recycling, making sure it makes its way to the appropriate location.

As you bid goodbye to your friends, Mel whispers, “Remember what I said. He’s looking particularly yummy today, and he’ll have worked himself up from that frisbee game.” You nod in acknowledgment and try not to think too hard about it.

“Ready?” You jump as Brendon places a hand on your shoulder from behind. “You okay?”

Flashing him an unsure smile, you tell him that you're fine and to lead the way. He grabs your hand and heads off for a minute then stops. “Babe, where's the bag?” Lifting the bag in your other hand, you show it to him. With lightning reflexes, he snatches the bag away from you then continues on his way.

“Bren, I was fine. I could have…” He places a finger over your lips.

“What did I say?” He gives you a look that says he's serious but makes him look adorable all at the same time. You grumble against his finger. “That's right, I do the lifting. Don't make me carry you.”

You pull your face away from his finger and glare at him, “You wouldn't dare.”

His grin becomes mischievous, “Oh, I would and I do.” The next thing you know, Brendon has bent down in front of you, wrapped his free arm around your knees and tipped you over so he can carry you over his shoulder. 

You yelp, then scream at him, “Brendon Boyd Urie, put me down!” You slap his ass hoping that will get the point across. All he does is slap yours in return.

Trying a different tactic, you go completely limp over his shoulder, and he pauses as he feels your body droop. “You okay up there?” he checks, “I can put you down, I guess.” Bending his knees, he places you gently back on the ground. As soon as your feet hit the ground, you’re running off, swinging the bag triumphantly.

“Hey! That’s cheating!” Brendon chases after you.

You plop down on what you have decided is going to be your fireworks vantage point and stick your tongue out at him. “It’s not cheating. It called playing the game well.”

Flopping down next to you, he chuckles, “Well enough then. How’s your day been? Had a good time with the girls? What did y’all talk about?”

At the question, you freeze, rapidly coming up with an answer, “Oh yeah. It was good. We had, uh, girl talk. And they grilled me on our relationship. The usual. How was your game of frisbee?”

“Great!” he exclaims, “It’s been nice being outside in the sun and being active.” Continuing to chat, you wait for it to get dark enough for the fireworks.

|———|

At the first burst of color, you gasp as the mix of silver, gold, purple and neon green paint the sky for the first round. You and Brendon recline on the blanket until you're in your favorite cuddling position, Brendon on his back and you on your side, curled into him and using his shoulder as a pillow. You gasp and awe over the show as it progresses over the next half hour. Glancing up at your man, you see his face, noticing that he's not watching the fireworks. Instead, his eyes are glued to your face, watching your reactions, but grinning like a loon. “Bren, why aren't you watching the fireworks?” you question.

“I'm watching my girl enjoy the show. I find that more satisfying,” he caresses the side of your face.

“Bren…” you sigh, pressing your face into his touch. Laying there just staring at each other, the sounds and colors of the fireworks have faded away, leaving the two of you in your own little bubble.

After a while, you glance up and notice that the show was over. “Oh, it's over. Guess we better head back.” Brendon leaps to his feet and helps you up, but your equilibrium doesn't balance out and you fall into his arms. “Whoops, sorry about that,” you mumble into his chest before righting yourself. He holds you steady until you're okay to stand on your own.

Quickly grabbing the blanket, he stuffs it into the tote. You go to ask him what he's doing, but his actions stop your words. He picks you up bridal style and carries you towards the dorms. “Bren, what are you doing? I can walk. I'm okay.” 

He shakes his head, “Nope, I'm not taking any chances. You lost your balance. I'm taking you home in a way that prevents you from getting hurt.”

Laying your head on his shoulder, you reply with a sigh, “Okay, fine. Once you've set your mind to something, there's no going back.”


	18. Chapter 18

Stopping in front of your door, Brendon turns to you, brushing your hair aside as he cups your jaw with his hand, “Do you want to sleep over at mine tonight? You don’t have to, but I’d like you to… if you want?”

Nodding, you pull away from his touch, “Okay. I’ll sleep over. We both need to shower and stuff though, so I’ll meet you back at yours in, say, 45 minutes?”

With a smile, he reels you in for a quick kiss, mumbling against your lips, “Sounds good, baby. Looking forward to it.”

|———|

As you shower, you consider what Mel and the others were saying during the picnic.  _ Am I a prude? What am I waiting for anyway? Brendon is sweet and kind to me, and I’m sure that he would try to make my first time good. That’s really all I can ask for, right?  _ Sliding a hand up your wet body, you hum as you start massaging one of your breasts. You rub circles around your nipple and sigh happily. Envisioning Brendon’s shirtless torso, you moan as you run your other hand down to your pussy and start circling your clit with your middle finger.  _ God, that boy’s body really is something else. I didn’t know muscles even did that. He COULD have anyone he wanted. Why IS he with me? And I know he wants to have sex, so why am I holding out on him? They’re right. He’ll leave me when he gets bored waiting.  _ Groaning, you make the decision that you’ll fool around with him tonight and go as far as necessary to keep him happy. With a gasp and a whimper, you pull your hands away from your body.  _ If we’re going to… do stuff… tonight, it’ll be easier if I’m already turned on, right? _

|———|

Knocking on Brendon’s door, you shift back and forth nervously.  _ It’s just Brendon. He’s always been sweet to me, and he’s never pushed for more than I seem comfortable with. And he’s really hot. That’s always a bonus. Plus he’s my boyfriend! That counts for something right? How do I make this not weird? I can just, like, jump him… he won’t stop me…  _ With your mind set on what you have planned, you steel yourself with determination. 

Brendon opens the door, smiling happily at you, and you return his smile nervously. Grabbing his hand, you pass him and drag him back inside, kicking the door shut behind you. “Wha-” is all he gets out before you’ve captured his lips between yours, tongue licking along the seam, requesting entry. Groaning, his lips part and your tongue plunges in to find his. Taking the hand that you grabbed, you guide it under your shirt and to your breast. Your other hand slides behind him to grab at his ass. Moaning, Brendon’s hand starts massaging your breast through your bra while his other hand brushes along the skin of your stomach. You bite gently at his bottom lip, and he whimpers then freezes, ripping his lips away from yours. 

“I… whoa there, baby. Not that I’m complaining, but sweetheart, what, what brought this on?” His chest is heaving, and his eyes look slightly glazed over. 

“Wha-what d-do you mean?” you stutter, “You’re my boyfriend, and I know you want me. That’s all. Nothing big.”

“That’s all?” Brendon pulls away and looks at you slightly incredulously, “Prior to this, we hadn’t done anything beyond cuddling and some light making out. And suddenly, you’re jumping me and shoving my hand up your shirt, and I know you’ve never done this before. And you say it’s ‘nothing big.’ I… we should talk about this at least. This is a big deal whether or not you want to admit it.”

Sighing, you close your eyes, “You’re my boyfriend, you want me, and I’m offering myself to you. What’s so hard about that?”

“Oh, baby. I don’t… sweetheart…” his hand comes up to cup your neck gently. “Is that what’s this is about? You think that… God… you think that because we’re together and I want you physically, that you owe me that? I… am I such a bad boyfriend that I haven’t made it clear that we’re going at YOUR pace? That we won’t do anything physically that you don’t want to do?”

“But the others were saying,” you mumble in a small voice, “that you wanted sex and you deserved to have it good and often and… you could have anyone so there’s no reason to stick around when you aren’t getting what you want.”

“They actually told you that? I… I can’t believe them. Of course, I want to have sex with you. If you never want to have sex or whatever with me then...” he trails off and bites his lip, “I’ll be disappointed, yeah, but I’ll deal with it. Sex isn’t everything and, yeah, I like sex, and I do want to have sex with you…. But I’m not going to leave you over a lack of it. You’re so much more than that. God, baby… have I not told you enough… shown you enough… how amazing and wonderful you are outside of your physical beauty? I LOVE you, Y/n. And that means so much more than me, um, lusting after your body.”

You look away from him awkwardly, “So you mean… you would stay with me even if… I never am comfortable with or, I guess, want to have sex?”

“Oh, sweetheart. Yes. I would. We’d have to talk about it, and it would take me some time to accept it because I HAVE, um, been looking forward to it? But I would find ways to deal with it… None of which involve finding other people! I promise…” he looks at you hopefully, “But… sex IS still on the table for the future...right?”

“Awww, Brendon,” you wrap your arms around him and pull him into a tight hug, “yes, sex is still on the table. And that’s possibly the most unintentionally sweet thing you’ve ever said to me. I… I was so sure the others were right.” You bury your face in his shoulder, trying to hide your sniffles. “T-they ARE right in that you c-c-could have anyone you want. Y-you’re sweet and kind a-and all of th-th-those amazing personality things, AND your body… ugh… your body is to die for,” your shoulders start to shake with the release of the suppressed stress and anxiety, “Y-you’re literally p-p-perfect. How do you EXIST, Bren? I don’t understand how you even exist.” Holding you as you let out more sobs, he rubs your back, shushing you quietly. 

Gently pulling away, he gazes into your red, puffy, and tear streaked eyes. “I don't know about perfect,” he reaches up to place his hands on both sides of your face, thumbs swiping at your tears, “but maybe, just maybe we're perfect for each other.” He leans his head down to place a kiss on your lips. Letting a small moan slip from your lips, you feel Brendon smile into the kiss. He presses the tip of his tongue along your bottom lip, and you try hard to suppress the shiver that runs down your spine. Brendon feels you tremble and scoops you up and takes you to the bed. 

Sitting on the bed, he places you in his lap to continue. Wrapping his arms around you, you feel his hand on top of the clasp of your bra. You inhale sharply and pull away just a bit. The question in his eyes is loud and clear. Placing your hands on his face, you nod, eyes bright yet serious. He tries to do it over your shirt but it presents difficulties. You grab one of his hands and place it under your shirt on the small of your back. Instantly, you love the way his hand feels on your bare skin. It takes a moment but you notice that his eyes have snapped back to yours, wide in shock. “Are...are you sure?” 

“I… like the feel of your hands on me,” you admit shyly. Smiling, he slowly slips both hands up the back of your shirt. You feel the clasp release, then his fingertips push the straps over the edge of your shoulders. As he pulls his hands out of your shirt, you involuntarily moan at the loss of his touch. Smirking, he pulls one strap down and off your arm, letting his fingers glide across your arm. He repeats the same thing on the other side, causing goosebumps on your skin. The bra falls to your lap, revealing the navy blue and white material. Picking it up, he raises an eyebrow at you.

“Did you wear this for me? Since you decided you were going to jump me and offer your body to me tonight. Did you wear this pretty thing for me?” You blush and nod at him sheepishly. “Awww, sweetheart,” he gathers you back into a tight hug, “you are absolutely the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. But just so you know, if or when we get to the point where I get to see you in just your bra and panties, when I get to make love to you for the first time, the thought is appreciated, but you don’t have to wear anything special for me. You will be absolutely gorgeous in whatever it is that you’re wearing.”

Taking your bra out of his hands, you toss it in the direction of his desk. He places his hands on your sides, using his thumbs to rub at them. You start relaxing into the sensation, and you start to lose your balance. Tightening his grip to keep you from falling off his lap and onto the floor, he pulls you against his chest. In the process, his hands slip up and his thumbs come to rest under your boobs. You gasp at the contact.

“Hey, are you…” Brendon trails off as he sees what caused you to gasp. Now, his blush rivals yours, and dropping his hands quickly, he apologizes, “Sweetheart, I am so sorry. That was a total accident. You know...” 

You mimic his action from earlier. Pressing your finger onto his lips to silence his babbling, you shush him, “Bren, I know it was an accident. It's okay. The feeling of that just shocked me, okay? It wasn't bad, just surprising.”

Nodding against your finger, Brendon brings his hands back up to your sides. As you take your hand away from his mouth, he whispers, “Is it okay to touch you there? Or is that still off limits?”

You pause and consider briefly, “I, um, I would prefer it if you didn’t quite yet. It’s, like, OKAY… but I would prefer if you didn’t yet.” He wraps his arms around your shoulders and places his head in the crook of your neck, breathing you in. You rest your head on his shoulder and you both enjoy the quiet, just being with the other. 

“It's probably getting late, don't you think?” Brendon asks a little while later. You know it was close to 10:30 when you came back to his room. Lifting your head, you get caught off guard by a yawn that sneaks up on you. “Awww, is my girl sleepy?” Brendon asks, smiling at you. You nod, covering your mouth as another yawn attacks. “Come on,” he replies, “let's go to bed.

He rotates his body so that he's laying on his back, and you snuggle into his side. Relaxing, you contemplate everything that had happened over the course of the day. You smile happily as you think about what Brendon had done and told you to reassure you that he wanted you however you were willing to give yourself to him.  _ He really is perfect. He has the personality of an angel and the body of a god. The game of life is just unfair and some people get it all. He’s mine though.  _ You snuggle against his chest.  _ His body… it’s… wow. I’m glad he stopped me when I threw myself at him. Although…  _ you bite your lip in contemplation as you realize something.  _ I guess since we didn’t do anything, I could have just finished in the shower. I’m still kinda turned on, but I can’t really tell him about all that... _

 


	19. Chapter 19

Waking up to a small whimper, Brendon peels his eyes open to check on you, smiling softly as he feels your warmth pressed tightly against his side. Smoothing your hair with his hand, he notices that you’ve slung an arm and a leg over him in your sleep. “Hey baby, you doing okay?” he murmurs, “Do I need to wake you up?” You whimper again in your sleep, and Brendon is about to wake you when you shift slightly. Choking, he realizes that your pelvis is making little grinding motions to rub your clit against his hip in your sleep. “Jesus, baby. You aren’t having a nightmare, are you? Quite the opposite, it seems.” Sighing in contentment, Brendon runs his hand through your hair again and rubs gentle circles down your back. “Having a good time, are we baby? God, you have no idea what you do to me when we’re awake, and now, even in your sleep, you tease me without having a clue as to what you’re doing.”

You whine, this time a little louder, pressing your clit into his hip harder. Brendon’s breath hitches at the feeling, and he brushes his hand down your side to caress your hip. He runs his hand down your leg, underneath your thigh. “Want a little help there, baby? Let me help you with that.” With a wide grin, he catches behind your knee and pulls you against him, making small movements to rub his hip against you. Within seconds, you’re moaning in your sleep and shuddering against him.

As you sigh in your sleep, coming down from your orgasm, Brendon releases your knee and soothes his hand up your thigh and to your back. “Oh, baby, what am I ever going to do with you? You turn me on when you’re awake. You-” he bites his lip as he looks at the erection now straining against his shorts, “you turn me on when you’re asleep. God, you’re making me learn so many new levels of self-control. I just… you’re so beautiful and innocent, and you have no CLUE how much I love you. And I’ve always been attracted to you, but I think loving you is… making it worse? Jesus, I don’t know. I just know that this,” he reaches down to palm himself through his shorts, “has basically become a permanent friend. God, I love you so much. I’m not going to take care of this right now because you’re clinging to me, and I don’t want to disturb you.” Brendon smirks, “At least, I could help you get off though. That looked and felt like a nice one.” Closing his eyes, he tightens his grip on you, “G’night, sweetheart. See you in the morning.” With a sigh, he falls back asleep, smirk still on his face. 

|------|

Yawning, you stretch and bury your face into Brendon’s chest. His hand strokes tenderly down your back, “Morning, sweetheart. Sleep well?”

You yawn again and slowly look up at him, “Think so. I feel good so far. And I have discovered that I like waking up next to you.” Smiling up at him, you notice a wide grin on his face, much wider than you would expect from your statement. “What’s the big smile for, Bren?”

With a smirk, he cranes his head down asking for a kiss. Happily, you acquiesce, crawling up to reach him better. He moans as you lace your hands through his thick hair and scratch gently at his scalp. He chases your lips as you pull away, and you raise your eyebrow at him, “Alright. Answer the question. What’s the smirk for?”

Brendon grins widely and chuckles lightly, “Did you have a nice dream?”

Scrunching your eyebrows, you give him a quizzical look, “I… don’t remember dreaming last night... Why? Did I say something weird in my sleep?”

“You-” he pauses, studying your face, “you really don’t remember, do you? I...” he coughs and bites his lip trying to stop smiling.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Bren. Tell me, please? It must have been pretty funny for you to be grinning at me like that…”

“It wasn’t…. FUNNY strictly speaking. It was… um, I don’t really know how to describe it, but uh, I woke up in the middle of the night, and you were…” he motions with his hands helplessly, “um, rubbing against me? Like… you, um, had your,” he motions again, “um, leg! You had your leg thrown across me, and you were, uh… yeah…” his voice trails off.

“I… Oh, God,” you roll off him, grabbing the extra pillow and shoving it over your face, “Mm foh embarrufft. ‘Eese tell me Ah didunt finiff on oo?”

Brendon rolls onto his side and wraps an arm around you, “Awwww, baby. Don’t be embarrassed. It's sexy! And now you’re being cute. How are you so cute AND sexy at the same time?

You moan, your cheeks bright red under the pillow, “Mm FO farry!”

“Sweetheart, there’s nothing to be sorry about! I mean… It’s like… You’re so… God, you have no idea. It was… it was… it was…” his voice trails off as he tries to find words, “It was hot! And wow, um, you have no clue how much it, um, affected me. Like…” he waves his hands uselessly. “Sweetheart, can I take the pillow back? So we can, like, actually talk about this?”

Moaning in embarrassment you shake your head underneath the pillow, and Brendon sighs. Reaching up, he slowly pries the pillow away from your red face and cups your cheek gently. “Hey there, sweetheart.” Leaning over, he drops a kiss on your forehead. “I guess we need to talk about this? Because I’m not really sure why you’re so embarrassed.”

“I…” you open your eyes slowly, “erm, I’m… just… what’s there to talk about? I, uh, you know… In my sleep. And we haven’t… well, you know… done any of that yet, like, awake.” 

“Baby, do you think I mind? I’m… I don’t mind. I promise. You KNOW the reason we haven’t done any of THAT,” Brendon waves his hands, “is because I’m letting you dictate what we do. We discussed this last night. I would very much like to do… that… but only when you’re ready. So… what I’m trying to say is… I’m okay with you getting off on me. In fact, I rather enjoyed it. I liked that I could help you feel good, even if you were… you know… asleep…” he studies your face intently, “So you have nothing to apologize for or be embarrassed about, okay?”

“You... you're sure? You're okay that I did…” You blindly point towards his morning wood, “that… to you? I mean… that… that WAS me right?” 

Grinning at you, he chuckles, “Babe, I’m more than okay with it.” He caresses the side of your face to reassure you, “I did warn you that my body was going to have reactions to you. I’ll take care of it when you leave like I usually do.”

“You… I, uh… that’s…” you look at Brendon, eyes wide, “that’s happened before?”

“Oh, sweetie,” he chuckles self-consciously, “that happens all the time when I’m around you. I TOLD you that I’m attracted to you. And by that, I mean that I am insanely attracted to you and incredibly in love with you, so in fact, that SHOULD be happening… I promise it’s okay if you don’t want to deal with it. I can handle it.”

“I, uh, okay. I’m… I’m sorry, Bren. I never realized.”

Chuckling again, Brendon runs a hand through his hair, “I mean, I’ve been, um, I HAVE been hiding my erections from you. Because I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable! And clearly you are, so I’ll just, uh… just keep… um… doing that,” He smiles at you softly, “but don’t feel like you have to hide yourself from me. It’s… nice? To know that I can affect you similarly. Even if...” he smirks, “even if it’s only in your sleep for now.”

You cover your face with your hands, “Oh God. I’m still so embarrassed about that. I KNOW you’re saying it’s fine, but I still think it’s mortifying. Plus, aside from that, I… I finished and… it… I… I don’t REMEMBER it. The first time I get off with? Er, on you,” you whine, “and I’m not even awake to enjoy it!”

“Baby,” Brendon chuckles, “if you want to get off on me OR with me, I am perfectly willing to accommodate. If you would like a repeat of last night, I am more than happy to assist. But, uh, you don’t have to! We really HAVEN’T gotten there yet, so actually, that might be a bit weird…”

Tugging at Brendon, you indicate that you want him to sit against the wall so you can climb into his lap, carefully avoiding his erection. Once he’s positioned the way you want, you bite your lip, half nervously and half coyly. “Well. We could, um, work on getting there? We can… make out… more? Go a little bit further than we have before? I… I want to.”

He groans at your look, gathering you up in his arms. “Y/n. We can definitely make out. We can always make out. In fact, why are we still talking about it? We are wasting precious make out time.”

Leaning in, you brush a light kiss against his lips, and he immediately brings a hand up behind your head so he can crush his lips to yours. He licks your top lip, and your mouth parts under his. You whine as your tongue rubs against his and his other hand sneaks under your shirt to caress the skin of your back. “This still okay?” He mumbles against your lips, and you nod and nip at his bottom lip. With a low growl, he bites at yours, and you gasp as you feel his teeth sink gently into your lower lip.

As he soothes your lip with his tongue, you realize your hands have come up to his sides and are grasping desperately at his skin. Calming your hands, you start to massaging firmly up and down his sides. Brendon’s hand is warm against your skin, and you shiver as he makes a light scratching motion with his fingers down your back. Pulling away slightly, you rest your forehead against his, “Where...where can I touch you? I- I want to know what feels good, but I don’t think I’m ready,” you glance down at his lap where his erection is pushing up hard against his shorts, “to, um, help you with that.”

Smiling, Brendon kisses you softly then pulls back to look at you intently. “Well,” he says, teaching voice on, “everyone is different and has different sensitive spots, many of which are in unexpected places.” 

Laughing, you smack the side of his head at his silliness, “I know that, you doofus. I just want to know what some of yours are!”

Chuckling, he grins widely at you before taking one hand from his side and placing on his head and taking the other and placing it on his pec. The hand on Brendon’s head automatically tangles in his hair and tugs lightly causing him to whimper. “See, you’ve found one. I know that you’ve already figured out that playing with my hair or scratching my scalp makes me feel really good. It’s not necessarily arousing, perse, but it feels really nice, and, as you’ve noticed, I go all melty.” Scratching at his scalp experimentally, you smile as his eyes slide shut and he whimpers again. “Just, ah, don’t take advantage of it. Judicious use. And definitely not in public.”

“As if,” you scoff quietly, “this look is for me only. Only I’m allowed to see you this soft.” Taking your hand out of his hair, you flick at his nose, and his eyes fly open. “Okay, so, the lesson. Why is my hand here?” You grab his muscular pec in a massaging motion.

“Not for that, although that, ah, feels nice,” Brendon admits, “but what I wanted to show you is that,” he repositions your hand carefully, “men have sensitive nipples too.”

“Oh, so you mean,” you rub your thumb across his nipple, similar to the way you touched yourself when you masturbated, “this feels good?”

Brendon nods and smiles softly as his eyes close again. “Yeah,” he replies breathlessly, “feels good.” Stopping your hand, he opens his eyes, “So what about you? Where am I allowed to touch that will make you feel good?”

“Well I…” you pause and think for a second, “um… your hands on my bare skin feel really nice. I like that a lot. You can touch my back. That’s allowed. Um, what else…” you scratch at the back of your neck, uncomfortable at having been put on the spot, “Oh, I know! Neck kisses. I love your neck kisses. Your lips are just so… big and soft. And just neck kisses are really nice…”

He smiles and repositions you on his lap so he can reach your neck better, “Neck kisses, I can do.” He nudges his nose against your chin, and you tilt your head to the side, offering your neck to him. “Do you like it better when I kiss,” he places a line down your throat as an example, “nibble,” he makes his way back up your neck with little nips of his lips, “or suck?” Making his way along your jaw, he suckles a path, and you give a loud whine as he hits the sensitive spot below your ear. Taking your moan as a good thing, which it is, he begins massaging that sweet spot with his tongue.

“God, Bren,” you breath, and he chuckles against your jaw.

“Can I leave a mark on my girl? Or is that not allowed? Can I mark you as mine for the world to see?” His hands come up and slide under your shirt, and his fingers start to knead at the meat of your back. 

You whine as Brendon’s mouth stops moving along your neck as he waits for a response, “I, uh, just, like, put it somewhere that I can hide it if I have to. Like, I don’t want it to be visible if I have to go ask a professor for help?”

“I can do that,” he mumbles, brushing your hair away from your neck, “one mark coming right up.” Latching on behind your left ear, he sucks and licks a bruising mark into your skin. He pulls back to look at his work and leans in again to give it a soft kiss before nipping at your ear with his teeth.

“Hey!” you smack him. Grinning, he starts kissing back down your jaw, and you lift your head to give him space to work underneath your chin. Exhaling slowly, you concentrate on the feeling of his velvety lips nibbling their way down the center of your throat. As his lips reach your collarbone, his tongue flicks out, and you mewl as he kitten licks his way up to your shoulder. Head thrown back, you shiver as he blows cool air across your wet skin. Lacing your hand through the hair at the nape of his neck, you whimper and tug his head to bury it in your neck. Brendon smiles and starts to move his lips against your skin, and you squirm in his lap, pausing when you feel his erection nudge up against your leg.

“Hey sweetheart, you okay?” He lifts his head up to check on you, now frozen.

“It’s… I… Your…” You stutter, waving your hand at his lap.

He looks at you questioningly then looks down, “My wha- oh that. Sweetheart,” he cups your cheek and turns your head so your wide eyes are looking into his, “are you going to be okay? We can stop if you want. Or I can, uh, go take care of it, and um, we can pick back up again. Or we can just continue as is? What do you want to do baby? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable but, uh, it’s going to be there unless I take care of it.”

You cringe and bite your lip, “I’m so sorry... Um, I really don’t want to stop, but, uh, I just... it’s a little much for me right now.”

With a gentle caress of your cheek, Brendon leans in and kisses your lips softly, “I totally understand,” he mumbles, “I was enjoying this, but I told you that I’d go at your pace, and I mean that, even now.”

Pecking his lips one more time, you sigh, “Thank you for being so understanding. It's one of the things I love about you.” You add a soft caress to his cheek to help emphasize your words, hoping that small admission would help soften the blow. It brings that soft smile that you love to his face. He gently lifts you off his lap and helps you stand before walking you to the door. “Wanna meet up later for lunch?” you ask.

He grins, pressing a kiss to your cheek, “I wouldn't miss it for the world.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by our very own favorite guest author.

Brendon kisses you goodbye softly, and he grins as you wave before skipping down the hallway. He closes the door after you and leans his forehead against the door; now that he’s alone, he can focus on the, and he laughs at himself for his next thought - most pressing issue at hand. 

Groaning, he launches himself back onto the bed and leans over for the shoebox under the frame. Hand groping, he lets out a sigh of frustration. He rolls off of the bed and gingerly lies flat on the floor, arm straining. He grins when he catches the edge of the box - it was farther back than he remembers; he must have slung it back under his bed with more force than usual the last time you came over. Wiggling back, box in hand, he kneels on the floor and opens it, grabbing blindly for the lubricant that is, he notices, more than half-empty. “Note to self,” he mutters as he clambers back into the bed, “buy more lube.” 

He’s almost frantic now, shoving his athletic shorts down and clutching at his erection with a newly-slickened hand. “Fuck,” he groans, hips bucking unconsciously. “God, Y/n…” Brendon flushes as your name leaves his lips; it feels almost dirty or disrespectful to think of you at this moment - but - he wouldn’t want to think of anyone else, and he needs to come. Besides, you didn’t seem adverse to the idea of him taking care of himself like this…

“Baby, yes…” he grunts now, sliding his hand down with purpose, legs spreading slightly so he can grip his balls with his other hand, rolling them in his palm gently. “Shit, Y/n, just-“ he throws his head back with a breathless sigh, back arching as his hand tightens. “Gotta - oh fuck, fuck, fuck, Y/n, please-“ 

He can’t help it; he’s thinking about your hand around him, your eyes on his as you tentatively touch him, his breathless praise boosting your confidence as you stroke him cautiously. “Is this okay?” He can practically hear you asking, lower lip caught between your teeth. 

“Yeah, Y/n, so good, you’re so good,” Brendon groans, squeezing more firmly. “Baby, you can - only if you want - don’t want to push you- you’re doing so good, sweetheart...your mouth, Y/n, baby…oh honey, just - your tongue, your mouth, fuck!” He wrenches his hand away from his cock, spitting into his palm quickly to mimic what he imagines your mouth will feel like, wet and tight. “Fuck yes, Y/n, just like that- oh god-“ 

Brendon’s eyes are clenched shut as his hand flies over himself, the sound of his slick hand making his stomach tighten and his heart race. “I need - shit, baby, please-“ Brendon groans, releasing his balls and reaching for his phone to scroll through photos of you. This might be too far, he thinks hazily, looking at photos of you with eyes heavy with lust. This might be - “oh fuck yes, Y/n, you’re so- yes, yes, yes, I love you baby, I fucking- oh god, Y/n - wait, wait, wait honey - not yet - don’t make me-“ his voice is tight and he closes his eyes, trying to take control of his feelings. “Okay,” he says softly, gripping the sheets with both hands, trying not to think about the pulsing need between his legs. “Okay. Don’t come. Not gonna come. Okay. Okay.” He rolls over onto his stomach, groaning when his body weight presses his erection into the mattress. “Fuck- that’s -“ he gasps as he rubs subtly against the sheets. “No, no,” Brendon pants, burying his face in the pillow. “Can’t -“ 

It takes all of his self-control to roll onto his back again and not touch himself, but he knows he needs to calm down, needs to take it slow. When his breathing evens out, when he’s calmer, he rubs a hand over his eyes as he takes his slick length back in his grasp, groaning low in his throat at the feeling. “Y/n, yes- oh- god yeah you’re good,” Brendon murmurs, biting his lip as he imagines you, laying on your side, your hand moving over him innocently. “So sweet, so good, so sexy - god, rubbing on me to come in your sleep, fucking love you so much,” he moans. “Yes, Y/n…”

What happens next happens so fast that in hindsight, neither of you can really explain it. His door opens just as Brendon grunts and gasps as he comes, the warm sticky substance landing on his stomach and spilling over his fingers. “Baby, I love you—ohhhh fuck-“ Brendon gasps when he sees you standing in the doorway, stunned. “Y/n- I-“

“I...I left my ID and I needed - for the library- oh my god,” you say with wide eyes, a hand over your mouth. “I - I’m really sor- I heard you say my name and I thought you heard me knock- and- oh my god-“

“No, I’m sorry-“ Brendon sputters, wiping his hand frantically on the sheets and pulling his shorts up. “I’m so sorry Y/n, fuck-“

“No,” you protest, shaking your head. “I’ll just - I’ll go- we can talk later.” 

“Y/n,” Brendon looks frantic and he reaches for you, but when you both stare at his hand, he reconsiders and pulls back. “Baby, please don’t go. I can talk about this now. I don’t want you to leave feeling...weird or awkward or anything.” You are obviously considering this and he shifts slightly, sitting up and wiping self-consciously at his chest with a tissue. “Please, Y/n.” 

You nod slightly and he pats the bed next to him, shifting so he’s sitting over where he wiped his hand so you don’t have to acknowledge it. “I’m not mad or anything,” you offer, and Brendon nods, encouraging you to go on. “It was just unexpected to - walk in and see...everything.” You look at him with wide eyes and he tries to fight back laughter. 

“What do you mean?”

“I just - penis,” you say helplessly, and you both start laughing after a moment, unable to help it. “You’re so - I didn’t know what it would look like and -“ you gesture with your hand, unwittingly making a stroking gesture and both of you laugh again. You bury your head in his chest as he wraps his arm around you. 

“I don’t know how to interpret that,” he says with a soft laugh and you blush, looking up at him. “Should I be self-conscious?” 

“No!” You protest, shaking your head. “No, you’re - you’re gorgeous, Brendon. All of you. And besides,” you nudge him with a smile. “We’re even. We’ve both seen the other come without being an active part.”

“I don’t know,” he teases, kissing your temple. “You were definitely using me, and I was definitely using you,” he says with a smirk. You blush deeper and groan, shifting to wrap your arms around him. “I’m sorry, I won’t tease - I know it makes you uncomfortable...I’m sorry. Honestly.” He looks down at you tenderly, and you tip your head up to meet his lips. “I do love you,” he murmurs, stroking your cheek. “And I’m sorry you had to see that. I just - you make me crazy, Y/n. You affect me in ways I can’t even explain. I’m just…” he sighs helplessly. “I’ll lock the door next time.” 

You laugh and kiss his cheek, smiling up at him. “Hopefully you won’t have to resort to that for too much longer.” You run a finger down his chest innocently, meeting his eyes. He looks confused and then his eyes widen in understanding. You’re grinning at each other and he dips his head down to yours. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Brendon's POV**

“Okay, let's get started,” you say as you sit a few tables away from your girlfriend and her assigned partner for this project.  _ Thank God it's Jess. _ You look up and inwardly groan at your assigned partner, Mel.

“Yes, let's,” she purrs, as she pulls her chair closer to you. You subtly move back a few inches.  _ Good God, can't this girl take a hint? She knows I'm with Y/n. I even kissed her before we walked in here.  _ And your thoughts are on Y/n… Again. You sigh as you try to clear your head so you can get some work done on this project.  _ The quicker we get this done, the quicker I can get back to Y/n. _

“Alright, here's the idea I had on how we can make this work.” You begin outlining the project and who should do what. 

Mel points to one of the items on the outline, “Why don't we do that together?” She accents her last word by pushing her chest closer to you. 

You shut her down quickly, “I can handle it, no problem.” Mel gives you a look and it kind of puts you off. “Look, Mel, you’re making this awkward for me. I'm with Y/n, and nothing you can say or do that will change that, okay? Now, let's get some work done before lunchtime.” You hope you sound amicable, but you have to put your foot down, knowing that if you hadn't said anything, all her advances would slow down the project, and you really don't want to give Y/n any reason to be jealous or have any qualms about you working with Mel.

“Well, you’re no fun,” Mel exclaims under her breath. You look at her with a disbelieving glare.  _ What the hell is wrong with her?  _ As if in answer to your unasked question, she adds with a mischievous gleam in her eye, “I love to do stuff to get a reaction out of her.” 

“Why?” Is the only word that comes from your mouth.

“Bren, you're hot and all, but you're not my type. I'm just trying to help nudge her in the ‘right’ direction,” she says as if it's the most obvious thing ever.

Eyebrows scrunched, you ask, “What do you mean, ‘right direction’?”

Rolling her eyes and letting out an exasperated sigh, she leans closer, “Boy, do I have to spell it out for you?”

“I'm trying to help you get laid.”

 

**Y/N’s POV**

“This sucks,” you sigh, spinning your pen between your fingers, “I can’t believe how much work we still have left, and it feels like we’ve already been here for hours.”

“Well, maybe if you put that pen on this paper, we’d be a bit closer to finishing?” Jess nudges you jokingly. 

“Sorry, sorry. I just can’t focus on anything right now. Is it just me, or is Mel working a little too close to Brendon over there?” You ask curiously. You don’t want to be the jealous, crazy, possessive girlfriend right now, but you can’t help but notice the way Mel is eyeing your man. He doesn’t seem phased by it; surprisingly, he looks like he’s working pretty diligently on his portion. Meanwhile, Mel is sneaking hungry glances at him every few seconds while he furiously scribbles words down on his paper. Jess shrugs without looking up and offers that maybe since they’re in a library, they’re sitting close to hear each other better. 

“Hm. Maybe, I guess.” You respond half-heartedly. You make another attempt at continuing your portion of the project, but your mind wasn’t any closer to settled by Jess’ words. Glancing up again, you see Mel nudge Brendon to get his attention. He looks up, and they exchange a few words before he shrugs and continues working.

Though Brendon isn’t entertaining Mel’s advances, you can’t fight the feelings of insecurity that starts to creep into your mind. Mel is everything you aren’t; she has beautiful flawless skin, long shiny hair, perfect boobs, and a perfect ass to go with it. She’s a total package, and as much as you hated to admit it, she looks like such a better match for Brendon than you feel you ever could be. You accidentally sigh out loud at your realizations, and Jess seemed to take notice. 

“Ok, shoot. What’s on your mind?” Jess asks.

“I just… I feel like he should be stopping her, but at the same time, can I blame him? Let’s face it, Mel is way hotter than me, and Brendon probably sees that too.” You respond dejectedly, placing your palm on your forehead. 

“Oh Y/N, honey, Mel might be hot, no question, but look at how Brendon is giving her exactly none of his attention!” She says to you, a hand now on your upper back. 

“Yeah, I know, but I still feel like-” Jess cuts you off quickly.

“Y/N, you don’t honestly think Brendon is just interested in a body, do you? Girl, come on, that boy is infatuated with you and NOT just because you’re absolutely stunning. He sees everything you have inside, as corny as that sounds, and he sees how wonderful and kind and funny you are! I love Mel, but that girl relies on her looks to get her absolutely everywhere in life and hasn’t really had to develop a whole lot of a personality because of that. I’m just saying, Y/N, I wouldn’t be too worried about them. Mel will probably get bored with him soon and be out of your hair before you know it.” Jess concludes. 

Feeling a bit better about the whole situation once you’ve talked with Jess, you’re finally able to help her with the project. You two make a pretty good team once you found your rhythm and get most of the hard stuff finished by the time Brendon and Mel come over and ask if you want to go grab lunch. You and Jess quickly agree, happy to be taking a break from the work. 

You stand up and Brendon immediately pulls you into a hug which you happily return. 

“Hi baby,” he whispers in your ear. “I missed you!” 

Craning your head, you give him a kiss, which he returns. You decide to deepen it a little, maybe or maybe not because Mel is standing right there, and you want to give her a show. 

You pull away and smile at him after a moment. “Well it looks like the feeling was mutual,” he says with a smirk, “Let’s go get some food, yeah?” 

You nod and take his hand in yours, grabbing your backpack off the chair behind you. Jess and Mel follow behind, and you head to the cafe hoping the food in there is decent today.


	22. Chapter 22

Knocking on Brendon’s door, you grin as he answers and sweeps you into a hug. “Hel- oof,” you take a step back, his enthusiasm knocking you off balance, “Hello there. Happy to see me?”

Face buried in your neck, he nods excitedly, “I’m always happy to see you! I love seeing you!”

Laughing, you throw your head back as Brendon starts nibbling his way up your neck, “Brendon! Let’s get inside first, you goof.” At that, he picks you up, and you squeal, smacking him.

“Hey! Put me down! Brendon!” Sitting with you on his bed, he rubs his hands up your back, under your tank top, coming to pause at your bra clasp with a questioning look. You smile and nod at him, reaching up to ruffle his hair affectionately. “It’s okay. You don’t have to ask every time when we’re in here. You’re allowed to help me take it off.”

With a grin, he leans in to kiss you softly before quickly undoing your bra clasp and sliding it out from under your tank. He tosses it on his desk and reaches out to grab his laptop. “So I was thinking we could watch Hairspray?” he asks hopefully. 

“As if you have to ask,” you respond before pressing a kiss to his cheek. As you settle back into his embrace, Brendon pulls you flush against his chest, wrapping his arms around your stomach and buries his face in the crook of your neck. You can feel his body heat envelope yours and his simple and clean scent fills your senses and it makes you feel so many things at once. You feel loved and desired, happy and excited, but most of all, safe and secure. You've never really had that in any relationship you had ever been in and it had put you on cloud nine. You turn your head so you’re looking into his eyes. Raising a hand to cup his cheek, you simply declare, “I love you.” It just came out like it was the most natural thing ever. His answering smile took your breath away.

After pressing a gentle kiss to your lips, he responded in kind. “I love you, too, so much. Now, if my memory serves me, my girl said something about her shoulders feeling tight. Let's see what I can do to help with that.” As he slightly leaned you forward, you whine softly at the separation. Running his nose down the side of your neck, he chides, “Awe, don't be like that, darlin’.” He begins with lightly running his hands up your sides. It was the perfect balance of being ticklish and sensual. You gasp at the sensation. He presses a kiss on the back of your neck and you could feel the smirk on his lips. 

You were about to say something but you shuddered as Brendon rubbed his hands gently up and down your shoulders, tracing small swirls and patterns. He leans forward and kisses your neck softly, and you crane your head to the side, silently asking for more. With a quiet chuckle, he obliges, pressing his soft lips against your jaw. He slowly drops a line of kisses against your jaw, tongue flicking out and massaging the sensitive spot below your ear.

“God, Bren,” you moan quietly, and you feel him smile against your skin. “Right there. That feels…” you trail off with a whimper as his lips descend on the sweet spot, and he sucks gently. Shivering, you wiggle your head around, pressing harder against his lips. “God, that’s nice.”

Pulling off with a soft smack, Brendon wraps his arms around you again and settles his chin on your shoulder, “Glad to make you feel good, babe. I like making you feel good. I want you to feel good because of me.”

You lean back into his embrace, smiling, “You’re good at that. At making me feel good. I love when you touch me. When your hands are on me. When your lips are on me. God, Bren. I love your touch. It makes me feel so good and safe and warm and happy.”

“I’m glad sweetheart. I’m glad,” craning down, he kisses you softly, palms flattening against your stomach. You sigh into the kiss as his hands start to rub slow circles on your stomach. He leans back against the wall to focus back on the movie, pulling you with him. 

As the movie progresses, the circles continue, and you sigh contentedly. Every so often, the tips of Brendon’s thumbs would graze the underside of your breasts, and the sensation they leave behind causes goosebumps across your arms. You like it. The next time his fingers get close to their desired target, you turn your face up to look at him, and the motion makes him respond in kind. A slight blush colors your cheeks, “Y- you can touch them, you know.” Brendon's eyes get as big as quarters as his motions stop.

“Are… are you sure?” His gaze boring into yours, searching for any hesitation. 

You nod and smile, “Yes, I'm sure.” Reaching up, you place your hand at the back of his head and gently pull him down for a kiss. After a few seconds, you pull away as you feel his hands begin to move up. He takes his time, enjoying the feel of your stomach though your tank.

Your breath hitches as his fingers start moving over the swell of your breasts. “You’re sure this is okay?” he pauses to check, “I can stop if you want me to.”

“No, it feels…” you hum happily, “It feels really nice. I like your hands. I-I like the way they feel on my body.” As his hands creep up further, you arch, pushing your chest out and causing him to quickly cup your breasts. Brendon sighs when he hears you lightly moan at the sensation. After a moment, he allows one of his thumbs to graze across your nipple. The exquisite feeling he causes echoes through to other parts of your body. Whispering your next words, your body waits for something to give you that feeling again, “Would you do that again?” You feel his smile as he kisses the back of your neck then nuzzles his nose against the same spot. You're about to ask again, when he squeezes your breasts while teasing both nipples, and the sensation is intoxicating. You gasp out his name and writhe under his touch. You never knew that a touch that intimate could be so earth shattering. You find yourself wanting more of that intimacy, craving it.  

You are about to ask for more when his hands started moving, kneading your breasts like they’re soft dough in his hands. Tilting your head back to seek out his lips, you find Brendon just gazing at you, face glowing with love for you. “Kiss me,” you whisper. He bends to meet your lips in a searing kiss. 

You break the kiss when breathing became necessary. Both of you gasping for breath, you collapse back into his chest. “Wow, I... I never realized how good that would feel.”

Slowly, you realize that you can now feel his erection pressing against your butt.  _ Wow, he's turned on by that as much as I am. _ “Bren, are you okay?” you ask cautiously, not knowing if it was making him uncomfortable to have you pressed up against his hard-on.

Brushing a few rogue strands of hair out of your face, he chuckles deeply in his throat, “Baby, I couldn't be better. Why do you ask?”

The color rushes to your cheeks, “Oh, well, umm, I just thought that, well, maybe…”

He cuts you off with a quick kiss. “Babe, you are so cute when your nervousness makes you mumble.” 

His soft smile reassures you. You take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I was just thinking that since you made me feel so good that maybe I should, I don't know, help you out with…” You let your sentence fade off while you gesture towards his erection. 

“Oh, sweetheart, you don't even know how good it made me feel when you allowed me to touch you like that.” He sighs as he places his hands on the sides of your face, making you look into his eyes. “You, my darlin, are so precious to me and every time you decide to let me in more, it's everything to me. You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with, ever.”

You tentatively place your hand on top of his cock, and he gasps. His quick intake of breath causes you to jerk your hand back in surprise, thinking you had hurt him. The thought that you might have caused him pain makes you go red in the face. “It's okay,” he soothes you, “It just shocked me, that's all.” 

Looking back down at the erection straining against his shorts, your hand hovers uncertainly, “I…” You bring your hand back down to touch him before jerking it back again quickly. “I… I can’t… I’m…” you sigh, “I’m sorry Bren. I can’t do it. I really want to be able to make you feel good, but…” Looking up at him with concern, you feel like you're letting him down, that you're not able to help him in that area yet.

“Hey, it's okay, you don't have to worry about that.” He leans over so that he's laying on his side and he brings you with him. You turn so you can face him, and he pulls you close, hugging you to his chest. “Just… just let me hold you for now, okay?” You rest your head against his chest, hearing and feeling his heartbeat under your ear. You relax into his embrace, as he tangles his legs with yours. It just feels right, being this close to Brendon. So much so, you wrap your arms around his chest and lightly squeeze him. You look up and see him just looking at you like you're the most precious thing in the world to him. The more you think on it, the more you realize that it’s probably true. “I love you, Y/n, my angel.” The new term of endearment he calls you makes your heart soar. In this moment, you’re happier than you can remember ever being. “I love you too, Bren, so much.” He kisses your forehead, and you yawn. 

“Sleep, my angel,” he coos in your ear. Wrapped in his all consuming embrace, you fall into a deep sleep, knowing that you’re so loved and cherished by this wonderful man.

 


End file.
